This is Me

Have you ever seen The Greatest Showman? When my amazing friend, Brandi, first told me about going to see it I just kind of smiled and listened. She was so excited about it but it didn't sound that interesting to me. I mean 'based on a true story of the guy that basically began what we now know as a circus'. Cool. But do I really want to spend the money to go watch it in theaters? Not really.

But I kept hearing about it and people kept exclaiming about how wonderful it was. So when my friends suggested renting it I agreed. I really wasn't expecting to find it to be such an amazing story.
I was laughing, yelling and tearing up. I was completely caught up in the story. And the soundtrack! Oh my! I knew right away that I would want to hear these songs again.

There was one song in particular that stood out to me more then any other. During this incredible scene when all of the circus people band together they sing 'This is Me' by Keala Settle, written just for this movie.

It starts out with words that really make you think.

"I am not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
'Cause we don't want your broken parts
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one'll love you as you are"

Haven't we all felt that way at times? I mean seriously, who hasn't been ashamed or felt unwanted, unloved. But we are wanted, we are loved, and we have a Friend who is not ashamed of us. Our Lord, Jesus Christ, He is proud to claim us and rejoices when we come to Him.

The second verse is also pretty amazing and calls us to hold our heads high.

"I am not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
'Cause we don't want your broken parts
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one'll love you as you are"

Pretty incredible that because we are children of the Lord we don't have to be ashamed.

The song is amazing but it's the chorus is that I really want to share with you today.

"I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me"

I may not know you but I know the One who does. Whatever you're going through today remember that you don't have to hide from Him. He will help you. He made you who are and even when you have bumps and bruises you can still offer yourself to Him and say- This is me. He will never reject you.

"My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise."
Psalm 51:17

What to Post?

It's Friday night. My weekly blog post goes online at 5 a.m. Saturday morning. Every Saturday morning so the post has to be written, edited and scheduled before I can go to sleep on Friday. I've forgotten before and there's always this awful panic moment when I realize. Then it's the hassle of having to figure out how to log in from my phone and try to navigate the screen that I'm used to looking at from my ginormous laptop screen. I swear, nothing looks the same on my phone. Some tech person would probably explain to me that's because there's different formats for the websites depending on if I'm looking at it on a laptop or a smartphone. At which point I'm trying to keep myself from screaming 'Deceptecon!' and running, screaming, the other direction. I may not know much about technology but I've seen 'Transformers' enough times to be concerned when the devices start getting too smart. It's probably some alien robot in disguise. Or am I getting my alien races confused with the ones from Men in Black? Hmm....

Well whatever nefarious aliens there may be, I still have to write a post. So what to write? I've been thinking about this all week. Discarding one idea after the other, scrolling through my 'draft' file that has all those ideas that started out so great then didn't get finished or just didn't turn out the way I thought they would. Occasionally I find one in there that I actually did finish but didn't get around to posting for some reason. Those come in handy every now and then but alas today is not one of those lucky days so I need to write something. But what?

I flip through the pages in my Bible and find some great notes but nothing that seems to need to be shared this week. I leaf thru my planner but haven't actually written any notes about what to post in there that I randomly forgot. So I check my phone, see if I left a note on there... no. Hmmm... what to post?

It shouldn't be this hard. I mean I've had this blog for four years now. I've been posting weekly for about two years now so why do I still go through this struggle? I mean really, shouldn't there be something interesting enough to share in my life? Well... yeah, no, there's not.

And letting my mind wander about why or why not I have nothing interesting to write about will not get the post written any quicker. So focus Kattarin! What are you going to write about?

Hmm... I have no idea.

That's okay, I'll call Mom and Dad. Maybe they'll be able to give me a suggestion. Mom? Dad? What should I blog about?
Well, what do you mean you don't know?
Well I don't know or I wouldn't have been calling you!
Ugh! Parents! They're so unhelpful sometimes.
Yes, I'm still talking to you and yes I am being sarcastic. I wonder where I got that from?
What do you mean write a post about what to post Dad? That's weird. Who would want to read that anyways?




Oh wait, you just did!

Hope it put a smile on your face too!

You Are ______

Have you ever been having a conversation with someone and you're just fed up? You want to scream at them. "You're just lazy!" Or "You're such a coward!" Sometimes you're so tempted to say, "You just keep screwing up. When are you going to grow up?" Maybe you want to really hurt them and tell them that the bad things in their lives are what they deserve.

It sounds awful but haven't we all had those moments? Those moments when as your temper rises and your mouth opens to spew the awful words that little voice in the back of your head warns you not to say it. It reminds you that once the words are out there you can't take them back. But the little devil on your shoulder is cheering you on, fanning the flames of your temper and you ignore that voice and say it anyways. And immediately the guilt begins to set in. But you don't take it back, you ignore it. You justify your words to yourself, reminding yourself of every bad thing they've done or hurtful thing they've said. You're in the right, you tell yourself, and this is what they need to hear.

When I was a kid we had a stupid little saying 'Stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me'. The other one was just as bad, 'I am rubber, you are glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you'. There's absolutely no truth to those sayings. In fact I'd even go so far as to say that it's almost the opposite.

Words do hurt. We all know that. But words also make a difference. Every time you tell someone that they're a failure, that they're lazy, that they're not good enough, that they're unlovable or that they can never be forgiven you build up that image or characteristic in their minds. Before I go any further I want to point out that yes, people can overcome those constant refrains that are thrown at them. They can prove all of those assumptions wrong but most of the time they don't.

We all know we shouldn't say those things. Sometimes our temper gets the best of us. Sometimes the disappointment of cleaning up one more mess, or cleaning up this first mistake that's such a surprise because this is 'the good kid' is so shocking that those things just slip out. Either way, we know better; but I don't want to talk about what we shouldn't say. I want to talk about what we should.

Maybe you have a daughter that is just selfish. No other way to put it. She's just a spoiled little girl that thinks the whole word revolves around her. Instead of telling her that she's selfish tell her she's beautiful. Teach her that beauty comes from the inside and projects out. When you see her being kind don't say, "Why can't you be that way all the time?" Praise her for that moment. "You are so kind." Not "You are so kind today, what's up with that?" Reinforce that good quality and do that each and every time. That way your perspective will start to change and you'll see more of her good qualities and her behavior will start to change as she works to live up to those standards of praise you're already giving her.

Maybe you have a son who is lazy. Don't scream at him for never do anything, thank him for the things he does. "Oh I so appreciate your hard work," when he takes out the garbage or feeds the dog. "Thank you so much for your work ethic, that will really serve you well all your life," when he cleans up his room. Then stand back and see what changes begin to occur.

And yes, I know that children have to be corrected and disciplined, but that doesn't mean that you have to berate them or talk down to them. You can still be encouraging and use those moments to teach them and encourage them. It may just change the whole relationship you have with them. Don't worry though, you'll still mess up and when that happens go back to last week's post. You're not a failure. Recognize you made the mistake, learn from it and move on.

Say it's your spouse who drives you crazy. Focus on the good things you like about them. Talk those things up. Listen to them and spend time with them. Learn to care about the things they care about and see how your marriage is transformed.

Thank your coworkers, thank your boss, thank your pastor or your friends. Focus on the good qualities of those around you and speak into their lives. Be an encourager and see how you are encouraged through the process.

A Note to Parents

I'm not a parent. However because of my position as a youth director I talk to parents who are often at their wits ends with their teenagers. I get the opportunity to talk to them about what's going on in their lives and their kids lives and offer them encouragement during those difficult times. There's one thing that I hear consistently from parents.

"I'm a terrible parent. I feel like I've failed them."

Over and over and over again I hear parents from all walks of life say this to me. And for the record I have parents of kids who aren't teenagers say this to me too. Parents of little ones say this all the time and just so you know I've even had parents of adults say this to me.


The thing that I tell parents is what I want to share with any parent reading this today. If you love your child, if you teach them what the Lord calls them to do, if you're doing the best you can and consistently trying to do what's right for your child then you haven't failed them. Have you made mistakes? Sure. Everyone does! Whether or not they're a parent. There's no way around that.

The fact is that there's no way to be a perfect parent. There's just not. What you can do is be the best parent that you can. Here's a few things I've heard parents suggest over the years.

When you make a mistake, admit it and even apologize.

Make your kids a priority. Consistently be there for them and go above just providing their basic needs, provide them the love and support that they also need.

Encourage them. A simple word of encouragement will go miles with your kid. I promise.

Teach your kids about the Lord. This is the most important thing you can do, teaching your kids about the God who created them and loves them. Teaching them to follow Him is the most important lesson you can ever teach them.

Loving them. Seriously, it's hard to express how far just a simple hug will go. Your kids need to know you love them. Say the words, give them hugs, show affection. That's so, so, so important!!!!

So let's recap. Love your kids, teach them what's right, teach them a relationship with the Lord, make them a priority, encourage them and accept the fact that you won't be perfect and neither are they. No parents are perfect. It doesn't mean you're a failure. As your kids become adults they'll make their own decisions, some of them will be wrong. Just be there for them. Just because they're growing up doesn't mean they don't still need you. They're kids and they're frustrating but they're your kids. There will be times you think you failed but chances are you haven't, you just need to hang in there and teach them do the same.

Her Legacy

In Matthew 26, Mark 14 and John 12 there's an amazing story recounted about a woman named Mary. As Jesus was eating dinner Mary came in with a bottle of expensive perfume. We're told that it was worth a year's wages. When Mary came in she poured the bottle of perfume on Jesus' head.

The disciples grumbled that she was selfish. They thought she should've sold it and given the money to the poor. Jesus rebuked them though. He said that Mary had done a beautiful thing.

See she took what she had and she made a sacrifice in order to give Jesus a gift.

What the disciples didn't understand was that her gift was a prophesy of sorts of Jesus being crucified in just a couple of days.

But here's the part that I really like. In Matthew 26:13 Jesus said "Truly I tell you, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."

Can you imagine that? Every country where the government has tried to stop the Bible from being taught this story has been taught. Every culture where women are considered second calls citizens this story, that demonstrates Christ's love for women, has been taught. Every language, every nation and every people group has had this story taught in memory of Mary.

This woman, who made such a sacrifice, was just doing what she believed was the right thing to do. She was showing her love for her Savior. In return He made sure she left a legacy that will never be forgotten.

Sacrifice for the kingdom of God is never a waste. The Lord promises us that He will repay us 100 fold in heaven. Just something to think about this week.

60 Years of Ministry

This weekend I had the pleasure of attending a retirement party for my grandparents. I think it’s the fourth retirement party I’ve attended for them now—but that’s another story. The point is that my grandparents have faithfully been serving in ministry for over 60 years now. Grandpa has served as a pastor, chaplain and missionary over the last 60 years. As his granddaughter I’ve had the pleasure of him passing me on many of the lessons he learned from his experiences. Although it would take me a lifetime to tell them all, today I want to share a few with you.

Grandpa taught me to meet people where they’re at. Grandpa served for many years as a pastor in rural communities. The churches he was pastoring at weren’t full of seminary students or Bible college graduates. They were full of farmers, log truck drivers, and people from all walks of life. They were everyday people trying to make ends meet, often these were people that were used to relying on themselves not God. Grandpa had to teach them that it wasn’t about fitting God into your life but about building your life around God. He learned though that you can’t teach people this by just coming in and preaching at them Sunday morning- “You’re doing it all wrong! You have to repent!” Those messages may have a place but Grandpa learned how to go about things a bit differently. He discovered that preaching at people wasn’t effective but following Jesus’ example of loving people got him a lot further.

Grandpa learned to become friends with people, to become invested in their lives. He truly loved the people he was serving and it showed. He would pray for them, talk to them, and find practical ways to help them when they were struggling. He became a part of their everyday world and because he met them where they were, they invited him further and further into their lives where he could finally begin to teach them what God has to say and how they needed to respond.

One of the biggest things Grandpa taught me about is unity. Particularly unity in the church. Grandpa explained that one of Satan’s most used tactics is to tear people apart but God brings unity.

So many times over the years Grandpa saw people who had a certain opinion about one point of theology. These people would share that opinion with others and if someone disagreed with them they would lash out. Instead of saying ‘okay, I disagree with you but we’re still brothers and sisters in Christ’ these people would throw accusations and insults around. They hurt their fellow believers because they weren’t willing to accept that someone else slightly disagreed.

Now please understand what I’m talking about here—these weren’t issues of theology that centered around what it takes to be saved or the deity of Christ (although those certainly happened too but should be handled in a slightly different matter) these were issues that arose from obscure verses or some silly little thing like what instruments to use at Sunday morning service.

People would split the church over issues like this when the fact is that it doesn’t matter. Jesus called us to be one body. He taught us that we should be more concerned with living a righteous life before God then arguing amongst ourselves. Grandpa didn’t disagree with every person who was so dogmatic about a piece of theology but he did disagree with how they presented their point. There are constructive ways to explain what you believe. Arguing, shouting insults or shunning people who disagree are not constructive methods. It hurts the church and it presents a terrible image to nonbelievers. Why would someone who doesn’t know Christ have any interest in coming to church if the people of the congregation act worse towards each other than nonbelievers do? This is not what Jesus meant when He commanded us to love our neighbor.

A third thing Grandpa taught me was to never underestimate God. We serve an amazing God. Over the years Grandma and Grandpa saw God provide for them and their five daughters in completely unexpected ways. More than once there were times when there wasn’t enough food to put on the table of the small parsonage they were living in and someone would “just stop by” because they  had too many potatoes or a little bit too much milk or their chickens had laid more eggs then they needed. So they would give the food to their pastor and his family—probably never knowing what a blessing they were.

God provided cars so Grandpa could visit people in the community. He even provided a washing machine through the generosity of a Christian Women’s Club meeting when my mom was young so Grandma would no longer have to hand wash and wring out laundry for their family of six. (Their youngest daughter had not been born at the time.)

The Lord took care of them and sustained them in hard times and He didn’t stop blessing them in the good times. In return my grandparents passed on those blessings to others and they taught their children to do the same. Those children, five girls, are my mother and aunts. And each of them, along with their husbands, has taught their children, my siblings and cousins and myself, these same lessons and so many others.

So after more than 60 years of ministry Grandma and Grandpa—now in their late 80’s—are stepping down from the church where they have been serving. But they won’t stop ministry. They will continue to be a blessing to those they’re around because they’ve learned the discipline of serving God every day of their lives, no matter where they are, what circumstances they’re in. They will take the lessons He has taught them and faithfully continue sharing those lessons with others like me.

Sailors

"Red at night, sailors delight. Red in the morning sailors take warning."

I like to joke that I should've been born at sea. For as long as I can remember the idea of sailing has fascinated me. Maybe it's because my dad was in the Navy. From the time I was young Dad would give me directions using 'port' and 'starboard' instead of 'left' and 'right' because the nautical terms made way more sense to me. Left and right tended to confuse me. Yeah, I was a weird kid.

Anyways at some point I learned the adage above and I was so excited when I found this same sign talked about in the Bible. It's in Matthew 16:1-4.
"The Pharisees and Sadducees came to Jesus and tested him by asking him to show them a sign from heaven.
He replied, 'When evening comes, you say, "It will be fair weather, for the sky is red" and in the morning, "Today it will be stormy, for the sky is red and overcast." You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times. A wicked and adulterous generation looks for a sign, but none will be given it except the sign of Jonah.' Jesus then left them and went away."

Now the sign of Jonah that Jesus was talking about was a prophesy of His death and resurrection. But it got me thinking about the signs that we look for.

I already told you that left and right used to confuse me horribly. Fact is I'm so directonally (I think I made that word up) challenged it's ridiculous. I kid you not, I can get lost in parking lots. So I'm constantly using a GPS or looking for street signs to help me find where I'm going. Signs can be very helpful whether it's to tell the weather, help you find your way around or other signs we look for like people's body language or tone of voice to tell us what mood they're in.

But what kind of spiritual signs do we miss? I'd say that most of the time we aren't asking God for a miraculous sign like the Pharisees and Sadducees were (and hopefully we're not doing it to test God out of spite or because we doubt that He's the Messiah like they were) but we ask for other kinds of signs. Maybe we look at our bills and can't see why God isn't providing a sudden influx of cash to pay them, but we forget about the fact that there's been food on our table every night, even if it sometimes comes through the kindness of others. Isn't that a sign of His provision? Or maybe you've skipped meals but you're still eating enough to be alive to read this. That's a sign too.

We ask for intervention in the life of a loved one but when that person begins to turn a corner we simply sigh and wonder how long it will last before they turn back to the addiction. Maybe what we should do is thank God for the work He is doing in that person's life, and thank Him for this sign of change. If it lasts, praise God! If it doesn't, praise God for the hope it gives us of what could happen again, of who that person can become.

Perhaps it's a prayer for a spouse or a child because of the loneliness that haunts our heart. Loneliness is a hard enemy to fight against. But instead of focusing on the loneliness perhaps we should be grateful for the people He has put in our lives already- friends, family, nieces and nephews to spoil or children at church we can work with through ministries like nursery or Sunday School. And we can
focus on learning to be complete in Christ. Friends, I urge you to remember that no human, not the spouse of your dreams or the child you've longed for, will ever be capable of filling all the holes in your heart. They are human and as much as you may love them, part of being human means they'll disappoint you at times. They will not make you complete or whole- only God can do that.

I don't know what you're praying for today. I don't know what sign you're looking for but today I encourage you to focus less on the signs that you're used to seeing and more on the miracles God puts in front of you every day.