Wrapping Up 2019

With 2019 wrapping up I went back and read my post from wrapping up 2018. It made me realize how much has changed in just one year. And what a lot of changes there have been! Before I get into that let me just remind you of what my word for 2019 was. This is a paragraph from the last post of 2018 that I copied and pasted below.

Anyways eventually I picked the word 'home'. Sounds a little funny but the fact is that home is not just a physical place. God is our refuge and, in the coming year, I want to really dwell on the fact that my home, my security and my identity is not wrapped up in things or places or even other people, it's all centered on God. He is my strength, my refuge, the one that supplies my every need. He is my home.

Home. How I still love that word. I did carry it through this year with me. I had to continually remember that my security and identity is in Him. It's not in the things I do, or the people that I surround myself with. There have been times, especially in the last couple of months that it's been particularly hard to remember that He supplies my every need. And yet like every other year I've been reminded that God never will let me down or give up on me. That's why He's the one that I need to find refuge in.

If I tried to tell you everything that has happened in the last year we would be here until the start of 2020. So instead I'll just hit some highlights.

I moved. Getting into our house was a miracle. We were looking for a new place, things weren't coming up. We finally had friends of my roommates offer us a place that we were going to accept. It was a great house but made for a long commute for all of us. As we were preparing to go there a house that we had looked at but hadn't been able to make work came back on the market. We have been so blessed with our new place!

I stepped down from youth ministry. After three years of working with some amazing kids and my fantastic leaders our ministry came to end this year. Our high school students had graduated and the kids coming up were in middle school. The program didn't work for the younger age group so after a lot of prayer I chose to step down as youth director so someone else could step in and run a new program for the younger kids. It was a very emotional time but I can see God's leading in that decision.

We found a new church! I've written about this before but it bears repeating. After stepping down from youth ministry one of my roommates and I decided to find a new church. A few months ago we settled on a wonderful church home where we are thriving. We have a small group we attend, a regular service we go to and soon we'll start attending a second Bible study.

I'm looking for a job. Earlier this fall the company I was working for made the very hard decision to close their doors. Almost all of the employees have now been laid off, including me. So I've been sending out resumes and going to interviews and trusting God to bring the right job in His time, not mine.

So that's my 2019. Or at least some of the highlights. 2020 is going to bring some insane changes. A few of them I already know are coming but I'm sure there will be tons I haven't seen coming. I'm not picking a word for next year. I'm just going to try enjoy it and see what God brings.

What's your 2020 bringing? Drop me a note in the comments, I'd love to hear what you're up to!

Sharing the Joy of Christmas

For those of you who have been with me for a while you'll remember that I moved in April. I stayed with my same roommates but we moved to a bigger house. Our new house is on a quiet little street with several neighbors. Due to our crazy schedules we haven't had much time to get to know them. A couple of months ago one of my roommates, Lauren, and I decided that it would be fun to bake Christmas cookies and share them with the neighbors this year.

Over the last couple of weeks we mixed and baked 10 dozen sugar cookies the stuck them in the freezer. This weekend we pulled them all out to decorate. Well it turns out that all of my creativity goes into writing my books (and learning how to knit on a loom- that's a recent accomplishment we can talk about later) and not into anything else. So well I started decorating the cookies I really struggled with it but Lauren, who is super artsy, was able to finish them and did an amazing job!

We also decided that we would get Christmas cards to go with them. Without knowing our neighbors there's no good way to share about Christ. We don't want to be pushy but we did want to find a way to be able to share why we celebrate Christmas. We found these cards that say Peace on Earth and have a few words inside about celebrating the birth of Christ. We wrote Merry Christmas on them, signed our names and wrapped up the cookies.

We started this plan just wanting to spread a little joy but the reactions we got blessed us more then we could've imagined. One neighbor is a single dad who only has his son part time. He almost started to cry when we gave him his cookies and card. He told us that this is the first Christmas thing he's received this year.

Another neighbor is a small family, we've never had much of a chance to talk to them but the mom seemed really grateful and the kids were excited for the sugar! There's a neighbor who's an older woman that lives alone. She invited us into her home and we learned that she keeps an eye out for us on our house because she knows we all work different schedules and she just wants to make sure everything's okay with us.

One other neighbor wasn't home when we delivered their cookies but she wrote us a thank you card and stuck in our mail box. In addition to our neighbors we took cookies to our favorite coffee shop. The baristas were so excited and touched that we had thought of them. And we took cookies to a little food cart we like. The owner was so thrilled she took a picture and posted it on their Facebook page thanking us!

We never told anyone we were Christians. We didn't have long conversations. All we did was take some of our time and wrote out some cards to try and bless others. In the end we were incredibly blessed.

So there's our story of sharing the joy this Christmas.

Connections

My mom is most definitely an extrovert. She can make friends with people standing in line at the grocery store. People energize her. She reaches points where she needs time alone but over all she thrives on social interaction. 

I'm much more of an introvert. I like people but being around them drains me. Because of the differences in our personalities Mom remembers people and how they connect to each other. She can meet someone and learn that they know her sister's best friend's daughter because they went to college together at the same school where... well you get it. She makes connections with people in ways that typically make my head spin.

I meet people and think how nice they are but it takes me quite a while to get to know them before I may or may not discover connections they have to other people I know. Most of the time the connections just make me smile. Sometimes they give me reassurance that God put them in my life for a reason.

The other day I was at church and through talking to someone I discovered that he knew my aunt and uncle and his wife worked for friends of theirs that I've also met before. Through learning that his wife teasingly told me that I must be at the right church because of the connection.

After discovering that surprising connection it got me thinking about how God weaves our lives together. His family is massive, every believer all over the world is part of the Lord's family and because of that, no matter where we go, we can find family. Even if they're not with us in person we have a massive family standing behind us, praying for us, supporting us. 

That's the connections that God weaves together to give His children support on earth. Amazing isn't it?

December

When I was a kid December was my favorite month. It always felt just a little bit magical. There's Christmas decorations and music, breaks from school and loved ones visiting. There's extra sweets and Christmas movies on T.V. I loved every moment of it.

As I've gotten older sometimes I lose my love of the season as I get too wrapped up with stress and busyness and trying to find the right gifts. However I still try to find those magical moements that I loved so much as a kid.

This year I've already had a few, starting with getting our Christmas tree up and decorated. Finding the perfect gift for a friend that I've been searching for. Listening to some Christmas music and even fitting in a couple of Christmas movies.

And going through an Advent study during my devotional time each morning and at church starting last week.

This time of year may be stressful but try to focus on the magic and the real reason for it all and don't let the stress of everyday life get you down.

Below I posted a picture of our Christmas tree those year. Leave me a picture of your Christmas decorations in the comments, I'd love to see them!

Thankful For...

Since Thanksgiving is less then a week away I figured it was a good time to talk about just a few of the things that I'm thankful for.

1) My roommates- it's been a rough year with lots of changes and my roommates have been rock solid in helping and supporting me deal with everything that's happened even when they've had a ton of their own stuff to deal with.

2) My family- Along with my roommates my family have been my biggest supporters. Especially my parents have been amazing in listening to my rants, calming me down when I'm upset and me to keep going and keep trusting God.

3) My home- Some of you may remember that I moved earlier this year. The whole process of us getting this house was a miracle and we've been so happy here. It's a great house and we love living here.

4) My new church- Looking for a new church was a really hard process but I'm so happy. My new home church has amazing teaching and friendly people. I'm so grateful God led me there.

5) My faith- The last year has taught me tons of things and the biggest is just how God has shown me His path again and again and again. He's given me the courage to prepare for the hard times that have come up by showing me how He cares for me and provides for me. It's those times of provision that I can look back on and cling to when things get tough. God is sovereign and He's made that clear again and again all year and forgiven me when I doubt.

So there's just five of the many things that I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving. What about you? What are some of the things you're thankful for this year?

Completing Our Family

This year I decided to write posts for each of my siblings. I've published posts for my three oldest siblings and an extra that lived with us. There's only one more sibling to go. My big brother, Toby. I saved his for last because I wasn't sure how to write it at first. There are plenty of stories I could tell about him or things I've learned from him but I had a hard time settling on just one thing. Instead I decided to write about how he came to be my big brother.

For fourteen years I was the youngest of four children. Two brothers, one sister and me; the baby. We moved to Oregon, when I was twelve, and we became friends with several kids that lived in our area. Toby was one of them.

He lived with his parents a few houses down from our store and we all started hanging out a lot. Before long he had become like family. 

Somewhere along the line Toby's parents split up and that's when things started to change for him. He stayed with his dad at first but things weren't going so well. He tried moving up with his mom to Portland, Oregon but that didn't work out. For a period of time he lived with family friends but that didn't seem like the best solution. I don't remember now how everything came to be but my parents offered to let him live with us. 

I remember that I was happy that my friend, who was like my brother, would be in a stable and loving home. He'd bounced around a lot and this seemed great to my fourteen year old self. Looking back I can't imagine how hard it must have been for him. He wasn't living with family but had moved in with people who had a completely different family structure, lifestyle and rules then he was used to. He went from being an only child to one of five kids. And it wasn't just a normal home, Mom and Dad owned a store and Toby-like the rest of us- was expected to do his part in helping to run it. It was a time of huge adjustment for him.

Toby lived with us for over two years and he truly did become our fifth sibling. He was already my friend but he became my brother. He taught me that your family doesn't just come by blood but by choice and that families don't lose love when they add people in, the love multiplies. It may not have always been easy but I believe that God put Toby in our family as much as for us as for him. My parents weren't expecting to have any more kids, and they certainly didn't expect to add one in at sixteen! But God knew better and Toby was given to us to complete our family in a way that we didn't even know was needed.

Toby may have been one of the many teenagers that lived with us over the years, and some of the still call us family; but Toby is the one that still consistently joins us at family events. He's the only one that has truly adopted our whole family and all of us have adopted him.

Thanks Toby for allowing us to have input into your life and providing a unique perspective to our family. And thanks for completing our family, it would never be the same without you.

Veterans Day Tribute

I feel like I'm doing a lot of apologizing on here lately for forgetting to post. Unfortunately I did forget to post last week and I'm late this week. Please bear with me as I'm in a time of transition in my life, looking for a new job, and just generally very busy. I so appreciate all of you who take the time to read this blog, you guys are awesome! Thank you for the support!

Seeing as tomorrow is Veteran's Day it got me thinking about a toddler's favorite question that adults often struggle to answer. Why?

Why do these brave men and women sign up to leave behind safety and security? To be separated from their families? Why do they put their lives on the line? Why are they willing to give it all for people they've never met, many of whom are indifferent at best and hostile at worst? Why? What's the point? What drives them to make these sacrifices?

It's not the money. It's not the benefits. It's certainly not having control over your own schedule or life. Maybe some do it for the stability, but there's stable ways of life that don't require a contract. Maybe some do it to travel, but that's a gamble because you don't know where you'll be stationed. Perhaps some go in for the 'honor and glory' but when you're part of such a huge group most people will never know your name.

So why do it at all?

Everyone has their own answers but mine, based on the actions and words of the many veterans is that they do it because they believe that there are some things worth fighting for. They fight for freedom.

Freedom of speech. Freedom to worship or not to worship as you choose. Freedom to not be separated according to ethnicity, or gender or class. Freedom to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Freedom to recognize that all men are created equal. Freedom to keep and bear arms so that civilians can protect their rights.

They fight to protect all the freedoms that the founding fathers believed we were given by God when they wrote the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.

So this Veterans Day, thank a veteran for every freedom you have. Thank them because they chose to fight so we didn't have too.

Daniel's Faith

A few weeks back I published a post stating that I was in the process of looking for a new church body to join. Good news, I found one! I'm thrilled to have officially found a new church home and this week's post is actually from last week's sermon.

The Scripture passage is from Daniel chapter 2 where King Nebuchadnezzar has a dream and asks his wise men to not only interpret his dream but tell him what the dream was. See, he suspected that they were just making up answers and so he wanted them to prove that they knew what they were talking about by telling him his dream before they interpreted it. Information, of course, that they had no way of knowing unless they did indeed have supernatural knowledge as they claimed.

Now I've been hearing this story since I was a little kid but the pastor on Sunday pointed out something I had never thought about before.

Daniel 2:14-19 "When Arioch, the commander of the king's guard, had gone out to put to death the wise men of Babylon, Daniel spoke to him with wisdom and tact. He asked the king's officer, 'Why did the king issue such a harsh decree?' Arioch then explained the matter to Daniel. At this, Daniel went in to the king and asked for time, so that he might interpret the dream for him. The Daniel returned to his house and explained the matter to his friends, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. He urged them to plead for mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery, so that he and his friends might not be executed with the rest of the wise men of Babylon. During the night the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision. Then Daniel praised the God of heaven..."

Did you catch it?

I didn't at first.

First Daniel spoke to the king and asked for time, second he prayed that God would reveal the dream for him. Think about that for a moment. Daniel is living in a land that he never wanted to go to in the first place, he's a captive, facing death and instead of giving up or panicking he takes a huge step of faith. He believes that God can and will save him from this horrible outcome and he believes it so strongly that he goes straight to the king and asks for time. Then, after that, he starts to pray with his friends that God would reward his faith.

How much faith must that have taken? More then I have quite possibly!

And yet isn't that the faith we're called to have? That instead of saying "Oh, I can't possibly make this decision without praying about it first" we're already praying about everything so when the time comes we can step out on faith and ask God to honor that step.

Now please don't misunderstand me here. When we have the opportunity to take some time and pray about important issues it's a very important step. However we shouldn't respond out of fear and call it faith. Nor should we ignore prayer right up until the moment we have to make a decision. We should, like Daniel, be praying about everything so that when we need to take a step of faith, we're prepared to and we trust God with the outcome.

So here's my challenge, take some time to practice praying all the time so that when you;re called to take immediate action, you're ready to do just that.

Forgiveness

This post was written by my wonderful mom, Teresa Kirk. I hope you enjoy it!

Forgiveness is on my mind.  Because I need to forgive some people and it’s really, really hard.  Have you ever been there?  I know it’s the right thing to do.  Jesus said if we don’t forgive others we aren’t forgiven.  I’ve been trying to forgive them, but it’s just so very hard.  

Why is it so hard to forgive?  For me, in this situation, the wrong done wasn’t done to me, but to someone I love and care about.  That person has forgiven them, but I continue to struggle with forgiving them.  God knows my heart, and this week I had to see several of those people face to face, not by my choice.  (It’s much easier to ignore them, when they live in another town and you never see them.)   Knowing I was going to be seeing them, I had to ask the Lord to give me a forgiving heart.  I was able to give hugs to my fellow Christians and at least start to forgive them.  

Unfortunately, my heart attitude still needs changed.  I still believe what they did was so very wrong – and if I could, I would make them suffer the way “we” have because of their actions.  I realized today (before Kattarin asked me to write this blog) that fortunately for me, God doesn’t forgive me that way.  How many times have I done things in ways that have hurt Him, hurt His Son or one of His other children?  Each time He forgives me, He doesn’t hold it against me.  Just because it is easy for me to avoid the people I feel wronged me, doesn’t mean I can get away with my unforgiving attitude.  If I will not turn it over to the Lord and choose to forgive, I will become a bitter, unforgiving person.  The choice is mine.  Even when I choose forgiveness, sometimes it is a process.

As I think of forgiveness, I am reminded of another time I had to forgive and be forgiven.  This time it was my children’s Granddad, my father-in-law.  He lived next door to us and I saw him daily.    Dad loved a smooth lawn; my husband didn’t care if it looked like we lived in the middle of a grass wilderness, so mowing my grass was Dad’s way of taking care of me.  Unfortunately, he didn’t always pay attention to what he mowed and one day mowed down a fledgling tree, one my children had planted.  I was angry – how dare he?  Eventually, I forgave him – sooner rather than later, as I saw him all the time.  Only, do you know what?  He had to forgive me too.  He had to forgive me for being angry with him for trying to help me.  Sometimes we don’t see the other person’s side of the situation.  Who do you need to forgive?  Are you willing to let the Lord work in your heart and change you?  I’m asking Him to change my heart attitude and to forgive as He forgave me.

Choosing to Love

This year I've chosen to write a blog post for each of my siblings. While I still have one more sibling to go I'm taking a break to write about another person who's not quite a sibling but is family. Due to the sensitive nature of this post I'm not going to say his name. Those who know him will recognize the story but I hope the rest of you will be able to draw something from it.

I'm going to call this person M, that's not even his initial but it's the one I'm using. M has had an interesting life. As kids we were close. We're not that far apart in age and we usually got along. As M got a little older he got into some bad stuff. Drinking, drugs, etc. It's been hard on our whole family and those who love him. There's no way to sugar coat that.

When I think about the people that have broken my heart the most over the years M is at the top of that list. At different times, myself and others in our family have thought "Okay, this is it, this will be when he turns his life around. This is what it's going to take." And sometimes he has, at least for a while, and then something happens and it feels like we're right back to where we started. Talk about heartbreaking.

Throughout all these years of ups and downs with M there have been countless sleepless nights and heart wrenching sobs. Sometimes I've tried to encourage others in his life and sometimes others have tried to encourage me. We've cried together and prayed together and spent years hoping together that M would be able to turn things around.

Sometimes he stops talking to the people who love him and then it's really scary because you don't always know what's happening. Other times you see glimpses of the real M underneath all the bad decisions and you find hope, then something happens and it feels like it's dashed again.

I'm not going to explain all of M's problems or the circumstances that have led him to this place. I'm not going to try to justify his actions or share my hopes of him coming back to the Lord someday. That's not the point of today's post. The point is that through it all myself and others have had to learn one of, what I believe to be, life's hardest lessons. Choosing to love.

See M isn't perfect, he's hurt lots of people through his choices. Like I said earlier, he's broken my heart too many times to count because of things he's said and choices he's made. Drugs and alcohol don't just destroy the life of the one using them, they can destroy the lives of those who love that person. Obviously my life hasn't been destroyed by M's choices but my heart has been broken. So what do you do when a person you love constantly makes bad decisions?

In this case, when it doesn't put anyone in danger, I choose to love him anyways and still be a part of his life. I've lowered my expectations so I'm not constantly disappointed when he makes poor choices but I don't stop loving him. Sometimes it's difficult because he's not acting very lovable but I choose to love him anyways. Love is more then an emotion, it's a choice and an action and a commandment.

Jesus commanded us to love our neighbors and although M and I don't live near each other anymore I'm still supposed to love him, even when he makes it hard. I do hope and pray that someday he comes back to the Lord and is finally able to deal with his problems and move on with his life but I have no guarantee of that ever happening. And although that breaks my heart I will choose to love him anyways and ask God to give me strength to continue praying for him no matter what.

Favorite Verses

Sometimes I'll be reading through my Bible app and I'll come across a verse  that I just really love. On the YouVersion app I can do a verse image that I'll sometimes share to social media, send to a friend, or just save to my phone. They're not all a new life verse for me, or my new favorite verse. Sometimes they just seen to fits whatever situation I'm in, or they're something that reminds me of a truth I've forgotten, or they stand out to me as a reminder of God's love and promises. Today I want to share some of those verses with you.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Psalms 139:14

"I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope."
Psalms 130:5

"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God."
Micah 6:8

A Personal Note

I realized halfway through the day that I needed to write a blog post. Normally I would be thinking about it throughout the week but it hadn't even occurred to me. Then I logged onto the website and realized I never posted anything last week. These two occurrences made me realize just how distracted I've been lately.

You guys, let me be honest, I love writing this blog. When someone sends me a note telling me that something I wrote made them laugh, or smile or touched their heart in some way it means the world to me. However lately I've had a lot of other things going on and today I want to share with you guys a little bit about that.

At the beginning of the year I knew that 2019 would have a lot of changes. I never imagined how many. In April my roommates and I moved, by June I had resigned my position as youth director at my church and started looking for a new church to attend. I left on good terms and with the support of the church leadership. The kids in our youth group had graduated and the ones coming up were much younger. I love working with high school students, the students coming up were primarily middle school students and needed a different kind of program to meet their needs. So after a lot of prayer I made the decision to step down. Since I was already stepping down I made the decision, again with lots of prayer and advice from wise counsel, to leave and find a new church home that I could serve in.

That decision has led to several months of me looking for a new church. Finally I'm close to finding a new church home. And now another change has come up. Some of you will remember a couple of years ago when my family's business shut down. Now the company I've been working for over the last year and a half is also being shut down. So now, as I'm settled in my new house, close to finding a new church I'm getting ready to look for a new job.

There's been a lot of other changes in 2019 but those are the big highlights. You guys, my readers, are made up of my friends and family as well as strangers from all over the world but whether I know you or not, you're all important to me, extremely important. And it's because you're so important that I wanted to explain just a little bit about why I've been distracted so that posts are going up late or missing altogether. 

Thank you friends, for understanding my distraction and giving me grace. Hopefully things will be getting back to normal, or at least back to a normal level of distraction so I can post on time, very soon.

9/11 Eighteen Years

Eighteen years ago terror struck us at the heart of our country. The images are burned into our hearts and minds. The planes full of terrified passengers, the towers that once stood so tall and proud burning as people threw themselves out windows before the flames could reach them. Those proud towers toppling to the ground. The brave first responders who sacrificed their lives so others could live. The flight that went down in the Pennsylvania field so that another building and those in it wouldn't be sacrificed. 

Eighteen years ago we swore we would never forget. Each of us can remember where we were that day. Where we were when we heard the news, who we were with, what we were doing. We remember seeing the news footage being played over and over again. I was only ten years old and I still remember it like it were yesterday.

There's another part to all this though. A part that we don't often think about. We all know where we were when we first heard the news that our country had been attacked. But do you remember where you were when you first realized that the world didn't stop turning that day even though it felt like it had?

I don't remember the exact moment that life started to return to normal for me. What I do remember is picking up a birth announcement. The date was 9/17/2001 and the name was that of my youngest cousin. I suddenly realized this was the first person that I knew or would know who was born after that fateful day that our world changed. He was born just six days after that horrible day. The firefighters and others were still sorting through the rubble, the news footage was still on our T.V.'s, people were still afraid to be in tall buildings or anywhere that would draw too much of a crowd. And yet in the midst of all that death and destruction there was something good happening in my world. A child. A baby boy. My youngest cousin. A ray of hope in the darkness.

Now, eighteen years later, Lucas has just started his senior year of high school. He's no longer just a name on a birth announcement to me. He's someone I love and someone that I have loved watching grow up. He'll always have a special place in my heart because he was the tool that God used to show me a ray of light during one of our country's darkest periods.

So may we never forget the victims, the heroes, and the families of both. But may we also remember that even in our darkest days God is still in control and He will show us His light. May we always remember what that ray of light was after 9/11 and may we continue to look for it in every situation.

Sharpening

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."
Proverbs 27:17

I've been thinking about this verse a lot lately as I study the people that I have in my life. There are times when my closest friends are the ones that are having to speak truth, that's very difficult to hear, into my life. And that's as it should be. See my best friends aren't the ones that always agree with me. They're the ones who make me a better person.

Sometimes it's because they come to me with a concern or an issue. They have to tell me that what I'm doing is wrong, or at least heading down the wrong path. They may tell me that I don't have a right to be offended by something. They challenge me when we disagree over an issue and that forces me to study it further.

Sound annoying? It would be expect that I know that the reason they talk to me about these things is because they love me. They want me to make the right choices because they want what's best for me. They challenge me to make me think. They warn me when I'm being overly sensitive so I don't destroy relationships with those around me. That's what friends do. But it's not all criticism either. They listen to me, pray for and with me, hug me when I'm crying, they laugh with me and make sure I get a break from the craziness that is life.

And that's just it. These are the things that friends do.They sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron. Sometimes it's painful for someone to call you out on what you're doing but it's also necessary. I'm blessed to have friends in my life who help me become a better person and I hope and pray that I can do the same for them.

God has blessed me with amazing people in my life. Amazing people who help me draw closer to the Lord and become a better person. Sometimes it's a painful process but they help sharpen me, refining me as God refines my heart into gold. Surround yourself with people who will sharpen you as iron sharpens iron, as God intended and then work to do that for them. That's what true friendship is about.

Joshua (The Book of the Bible That Is)

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."
2 Timothy 3:16-17

Over the last couple of weeks I've been reading through the book of Joshua. It's one of my favorite books in the Bible and Joshua is one of my favorite Old Testament heroes.

I was encouraged by his words of remaining strong and courageous as the Israelite nation got ready to finally enter the Promised Land; thoughtful when the men from each tribes collected stones from the middle of the dried up Jordan to build an altar to the Lord. I was enthralled by the story of Rahab and the fall of Jericho. I was saddened by the sin of Achan, gladdened by the people's repentance and their defeat of Ai. I was skeptical of the Gibeonites but can't say I would've acted any differently. Finally I celebrated with God's chosen people as they defeated the Northern and then Southern armies.

Then I got to Joshua 12. I reread the account of all the people that the Israelites had defeated and was bored to death. As I was reading I kept thinking about that verse in 2 Timothy. If all Scripture is useful for teaching etc. then what was the point of this chapter? Or the genealogies for that matter? Or some of the other passages that I consider boring?

And that's when God showed me. He didn't explain the purpose of the genealogies to me but He did tell me about Joshua 12. As I read the account of all the people that the Israelites defeated I remembered something. The Israelites didn't defeat all those kings and people on their own, God went before them and fought for them.

Right now I have a lot going on in my life. A lot of situations that I'm having to give over to God and ask Him to work out. Reading about all those defeated kings in Joshua 12 reminded me that God can resolve all the situations in my life too.

I don't know how all Scripture applies to each servant of God. I don't know if I'll ever really figure it out but I do know that God showed me how this passage in Joshua 12 applies to my life this time. And I have to believe that not only will He help me deal with the situations in my life like He defeated the kings in Joshua but also that He'll continue to show me how Scripture applies at different times in my life.

Sound Simple?

"Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone."
Titus 3: 1,2

This sounds simple enough, right? It does, in principle.

Respect authorities and be obedient, be ready to do good, don't talk badly about people and be peaceable, considerate and gentle to everyone. It is rather simple but that doesn't mean it's easy. Still it's a good challenge.

Be obedient. Be ready to do good. Don't talk badly about people. Be peaceable, considerate and gentle towards everyone. I'm great at all of these things... for at least three seconds a day. On a good day.

The fact is that we are never going to be perfect but these are things we can stride towards. How different would our world be if we all made an effort to follow these principles? We can't change the world, but we can change ourselves. Maybe we should all make a little more effort to work towards these commands. I need to, want to try it with me?

Good in the World

One of my favorite conversations in all of the Lord of the Rings movies is in the second movie. Frodo, discouraged and tired, wants to give up, he's been beaten down, doesn't believe he'll ever see home again and he's lost sight of why they're doing this in the first place.

He says to Sam, "What are we holding onto Sam?"

And Sam replies, "That there's good in this world Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

We live in a world filled with darkness. Often it's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. We get disillusioned, discouraged and downtrodden. We want to give up. What do we hold onto in those difficult moments?

As Christians we're told to hold on to the Lord. Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

That doesn't mean that it's easy though. We live in a fallen world, one full on sin and pain and darkness. And yet God is in our world too. He's working every day in ways that we can't even see or understand. He's working to "... in all things God works for the good of those who love him, and have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

With all the attention the we give to our news channels it sometimes hard to see that the “Good News”, that is God’s plan for this world, is still on track.  God give us a promise in Revelation that in the end he wins and all the bad news goes away.  All across the world will be God’s Kingdom.  It is worth reminding ourselves that God is in control and ultimately will overcome all adversity.  For this we can praise and say hallelujah He will overcome. 

One day God will lift his children up and bless them with goodness and peace.  Hang in there he makes it worth the wait.  

Loyal Friends

In the Lord of the Rings movies (did you really think we were done talking about those?) it's the friendships that stand out most to me.

Gandalf and his friendship with Froto is that of a protective father figure in someways. You see the aspects of the trust that Froto has in him and the love that Gandalf displays. You also see Gandalf get frustrated and Froto take on the "rebellious teenager" actions at some points. Ultimately you see love and trust strained and their relationship is damaged before being ultimately restored.

Legolas friendship with Aragorn is better understood if you read (or watch) the Hobbit movies and you see a bit about how it started. Again it's based on mutual respect but there's a brotherhood between the man and elf that goes deeper then you realize on the surface. Plus they're basically the two coolest characters in the entire fellowship. Just sayin'.

Legolas' friendship with Gimili is one of my favorites because it starts out as antagonism bordering on hatred. Elves and dwarves don't get along and these two characters aren't about to be the ones to change that long held animosity between the species! Until they are. As they travel, work and fight alongside each other they do learn to respect each other and ultimately become friends. They show that relationships that begin and thrive due to hardships are the ones that will last a lifetime.

Friendships between the Hobbits are some of my favorites. Merry and Pippin are hysterical. They're the definition of two peas in a pod. They're constantly up to no good. They sometimes seem like they're more trouble then they're worth but their loyalty is almost beyond compare. They would do anything for each other. They follow Frodo on a suicide mission because they refuse to let their friend go without them. Yes, maybe it starts out as them being bored and wanting to do something fun but as the story continues it becomes so much more. These are the two characters that more then any other, Frodo included, that you really get to watch go through the painful but amazing process of growing up, learning what you're made of and being so grateful for what you have.

Finally my favorite friendship, Sam and Frodo. Have you ever seen a more loyal friend then Sam? He almost drowns at one point because he refuses to let Frodo go to Mordor alone. It's not a one sided friendship though. Sam almost drowns because of his implicit trust in Frodo. He knows that Frodo is trying to protect him, protect everyone by going alone. Sam also knows that Frodo won't let him drown even if he's not happy about having to take him along. I could go on and on about their friendship but at least for now I'll keep it short. Loyalty is the main thing I see in their friendship. Loyalty and selfless love. The Bible says "Greater love have no one than this; to lay down one's life for one's friends". These two proved they would be willing to do that again and again.

Obviously these are movies and books. None of us are going to be taking the ring of power to the heart of Mordor and throwing it in the fire to be destroyed. We're not going to be battling orks or goblins or trolls. And, as cool as it might be, we're not going to be hanging out in Rivendell or fighting with the Riders of Rohan. What we do have is friends that are a gift from God.

Find good friends, whether they be older then you like Gandalf, younger like everyone else compared to the wizard, or the same age like the Hobbits. Find ones that love selflessly, are loyal, will get in your face when you need it, challenge you to do better, constantly encourage you, walk with you through the hard times and always offer a hand to lift you back up to your feet. When you find them, thank God for them, because will they may not be perfect but they know that you aren't either and they love you anyways. That's a gift worth keeping.

Your Time

In the iconic story of Esther there's always one line that jumps off the page at me.

"And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?"
Esther 4:14

For those who don't know the story this is Mordecai speaking to Esther, who he raised, cautoning her that the Jews are about to be killed. He tells her that even though she's a queen she won't escape the fate and that she needs to use her position to help her people. When Esther says how scared she is to approach the king when she hasn't been summoned (it could mean her death) Moredecai tells her that if she doesn't help someone else will. But he tells her if help arises from elsewhere she'll still perish.

Right after this Esther asks for the Jews and her servants to fast and pray for 3 days before she approaches the king. Spoiler alert- it all works out in the end but you'll have to go read the story for yourself if you want to learn about all the twists and turns that God led His people through in order to use a young queen to save them from a horrible fate.

So what's the point?

Such a time as this.

What position are you in today and why has God placed you there? Are you there to help or bless others? Are you using your position to serve Him in what He's asking you to do or are you hidongin your palace out of fear? God has placed you where you are today. Don't forget that and WHE N He's calling you to do something remember Esther and ask God to give you the courage to do His task for you, because this might be your position and your time to step up for Him.

Blinded from the Mess

The last two weeks have been really busy. I'm not entirely sure why they've been quite so hectic but the days have just gotten away from me. Work was fairly normal last week but a fair next to our house that made traffic a nightmare caused a fair bit of disturbance in my routine. (Pun intended.) Then a busy social schedule for the weekend caused me to put my blog post up late last week.

Sunday night while talking to my roommate I suddenly lost my voice. I spent three days at work unable to talk- which thankfully is not a requirement of my job for the most part and gave my coworkers something to really laugh about. Then I ended up working an extra shift before going to spend some time with family who was in from out of town. (Which is why this post is going up late for the second week in a row.)

After I went out to dinner with my aunt and uncle they asked if they could see my new house. We all drove back to my place and I started showing them around. When we got upstairs I went to show my aunt my room and I realized for the first time in weeks what a mess it is! She was very sweet about it and just said it was lived in but I could see in my mind what it should look like and the sight in front of me wasn't matching up.

I have presents from my recent birthday still sitting out instead of put away, clean laundry waiting to be folded in a basket, a few discarded shirts laying on an unmade spare bed, papers on the nightstand and books lying around. It may be a magazine photo compared to the room of a teenager but it's not how I normally keep it.

That got me thinking though. How often are we so used to seeing something that we don't really see it at all anymore? For instance, our own sin. That's why we need the Holy Spirit to convict us of sin. Or maybe it's people around us who may be hurting but we've gotten to used to ignoring them because they make us uncomfortable. Or just the majesty of God's creation. So today I'm wondering what sin, or hurt or amazing wonder have I become blind to because I take it for granted and I'm asking God to open my eyes. Want to join me?

Disconnected

When I was a kid we sang this church about continuing to reach out to God, cry out to Him even when it feels like you're in complete darkness and He's nowhere to be found, you still cry out knowing that God will get you through. That's what faith is. I don't remember the exact words but I do remember the story behind the song. A guy in our church wrote it after his daughter died.

It was one of my favorite songs as a kid and even now though I've forgotten the words the message remains.

When you're walking in the darkness just keep walking forward. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep reading your Bible even though you feel like you're not learning anything, keep praying even when you feel like He's not listening and keep going to church even when you feel like there's no point.

God will bring you out of this season of darkness and when He does you'll probably see that there were things you absorbed and learned in that time of darkness that you didn't even realize.

I don't know what's brought you to a time of darkness in your spiritual life. Maybe it's circumstances or people or something medical like depression. Whatever it is I hope this encourages you today.

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

You may not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now but God can. Hang in there, cling to Him, He'll see you through. This is the time that the rubber meets the road and your faith gets tested.

Outsiders

There are times that you're in church and everything just fits. You're connected to the worship, you're engaged with the sermons and the congregation is like family you want to be around. You feel God's presence, you're convicted, challenged and encouraged each week and you are serving in a ministry you really care about.

Getting discouraged because I'm not describing your church experience? Well don't, most people only have this type of experience once in a great while.

I've said this on here before and I'll say it again. Churches aren't perfect. They're made up of sinful people. Those sinful people, being imperfect themselves, cannot make a perfect church. There's always going to be problems there.

There are mountaintops in our spiritual lives where we feel connected and happy and things are going well but there's also valleys. When you're in the bottom of a valley it's easy to look around and think you're the only one there.

Last week while visiting church with a friend I met a woman who didn't get married until she was in her late thirties. She's been married for four years now but she and her husband don't have any children. She shared her heart with me and talked about how hard it can be inside the church as a single person or even as married woman without kids.

The church puts such an emphasis on marriage and families. There are series taught about making your marriage stronger. Series about raising kids in a sin-obsessed world. Entire series about how to be a good wife or husband or mother or father. Do you ever hear a series about being in your late twenties or thirties, even forties and still being single? If you're in luck then you might hear a short speech once every three years about how it's okay to be single because God still has a plan for you.

I don't want to make this sound sarcastic because it's not something I take lightly. I understand that pastors don't preach about living a single life because most people don't. That doesn't mean it's not a valid way of life but it's not the point we're talking about today.

The point is that there are always times that we feel like an outsider, even in church. Sometimes, especially in church. Maybe it's because you're single, maybe it's because you're married but don't have kids. Maybe it's because your kids have walked away from the Lord. Or maybe because your spouse has.

Whatever the reason there are always going to be times that we feel like an outsider in our own church. The best thing you can do is realize that everyone has those times but it doesn't matter if you feel like an outsider in the church or not. When you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior you're never an outsider, you're a child of the King.

Ministry

Here's a thought for the day.

When you serve in ministry, any kind of ministry who are you serving? Are you serving the kids in the nursery or their parents? Are you serving the congregation members you preach to or the elder board you answer to? Are you serving the people who come into your shelter or community center or the donors who help keep your doors open?

Spoiler alert guys- you're not serving any of them.

Or at least you shouldn't be.

Colossians 3:23
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord not for human masters..."

We're really good at focusing on the 'work at it with all your heart' part (shout out to the parents with teenagers who like to quote this verse when the kids don't do their chores LOL) but we forget about the fact that it's the Lord we're serving. Oh sure we say it, "I'm doing this for God" but do we mean it?

Our focus so often is on people. The people we're helping, the people who we answer to, even the people we fail or the ones who hurt us when really our focus should be on the Lord. After all if our ministry isn't ultimately serving Him then what's the point?

I don't know what your ministry is or who you're serving but today I just want to challenge you, whether things are going great or horribly, shift your focus. Remember when things are going well to give God the glory. Remember when things are going badly that He will sustain you and see you through. And remember at all times that it's His ministry and He's just placed you there for a season but He is the one you're ultimately serving.

May God bless you in your ministry today, whatever that may be.

P.S. A ministry can be a stay-at-home mom or praying for your neighbors, that's just as valid as the pastor on T.V. or the missionary overseas. See when we remember who we're serving in our ministry something amazing happens. We stop ranking what position is most important and we start remembering that God uses us all differently and that one's not better then the other because all of us are serving the one, true King and that's what really matters- not the titles or the salary or anything else. Just Who we serve.

4th of July

A few weeks ago I had an amazing honor. I went up to Washington to watch with a good portion of my family as my cousin took her oath of office and was officially commissioned as a 2nd Lieutenant in the United States Air Force.

I might be pretty good with words but there's no way to describe how proud I was of her in this moment. It was hard to hold back tears as her dad, also in the Air Force, saluted her for the first time. Here she is, a beautiful, smart, accomplished twenty-one year old, graduating college with a bachelor's of science and going straight into the military as an officer.

There were eleven officers being commissioned and it occurred to me what an amazing thing this is. That these eleven young people are not only willing to serve but willing to lead. They will head into the military knowing that they may be called upon to lay down their lives for our freedom. Not only that but they know that they'll be leading others who may be called upon to do the same. And they're willing to take on all that entails.

And why? Why do they do that?

Sure there's the fact that the military helps pay for school and it gives you job training, etc. That's not a reason to risk your life though. I believe that they do it for same reason so many people join the armed forces every day, because they believe in this country, they believe in our freedom and they believe in defending those things. Even if it means at the expense of their own lives.

This coming week as you celebrate Independence Day remember my cousin, the other young officers, and our military personnel all over the world, past and present. They are the reason we get to be free.

Today I just want to say thank you to them and their families for the amazing sacrifices that they make to keep the United States of America the home of the brave and the land of the free.
Happy Independence Day everyone.

Father's Day (Yes I Know I'm a Week Late)

Okay so I'm a week late on my Father's Day post but in good news I didn't actually forget Father's Day I just forgot to write about it. There's been a lot going on- you'll have to cut me some slack.

Fathers aren't perfect. 

Think about Biblical fathers for a moment. 

Adam was the first man and therefore the first father. One of his son's killed the other so there's a legacy. Yikes!

David is one of the most highly revered men in the Bible but have you read the accounts of his kids? They were a mess. I mean seriously, you think your kids are messed up? Go read about his, you'll feel better. 

Even Joseph, the step-father of Jesus, was by all accounts, a really amazing guy. But when Jesus was twelve and the family went to Jerusalem Joseph and Mary didn't know Jesus had stayed behind for three days. That wouldn't exactly win him any father-of-the-year awards today, would it?

The thing with Father's is they don't have to be perfect. So here's my advice to dads. 

1. Be there. Even if you can't be there physically for some reason find a way to be there for your kids. Video chat, phone calls, letters, whatever. Find a way to be there for your kids. And don't stop being there for them just because they turn eighteen and move out. The best dads are the ones who's kids know that they'll always be there for them, no matter how far away they might be or how old the kid is.

2. Let them know you love them. No matter what happens or what they do, always make sure your kids know how much you love them. Trust me, love covers many sins. The Bible tells us so. 1 Peter 4:8

3. When you make mistakes, and you will, try to do it differently the next time. Kids are humans too and like any relationship we appreciate it when, if you mess up, you say you're sorry and try to do better the next time. 

4. Pray for them. Like any relationship the very best thing that you can do for your kids is pray for them and also, teach them a relationship with Christ and for them to pray also. 

So why can I give advice to fathers? Because, while he may not be perfect, I have an amazing dad who has always been there, has always let me know he loves me, has made mistakes but has tried to do better in the future and who has and continues to pray for me. Thanks Dad for being you. And thanks to all the dads out there who are working hard to be there and be better men for their kiddos. Happy Father's Day! Even if it is a week late.

Broken Pieces

Last week during a talk with a friend she told me an amazing story.

I don't know if I'll get the details right or what country it's from so please just bear with me.

The story goes that in some country in Asia when a piece of pottery breaks they don't take the broken shard and glue it back into place. Instead they mold a piece of gold to replace the shard and put that in the empty space instead. The effect is that even as more pieces break off the pottery becomes more valuable instead of less because it's been replaced with gold instead of clay.

Isn't that an amazing picture of what God does with us? We go through things in life that break us and we cry out asking God why He won't piece us back together. But the reason is because He allowed us to be broken so He could fill that empty space with something far more precious and valuable then we could ever imagine.

The more God breaks us the more He is fashioning us into a much more precious and valuable vessel to carry His word, His light and His Spirit into the world.

Trials will come but they have a purpose. Not just to break you but to mold you in His image.

The Smallest Person

In the first Lord of the Rings movie there's an amazing quote. Lady Galadriel the Lady of the Wood says to Frodo- "Even the smallest person can change the course of the future."

It makes me think of those verses in Jeremiah 1:5-10
"'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.'
'Alas, Soverign Lord,' I said, 'I do not know how to speak; I am too young.'
But the Lord said to me, 'Do not say, "I am to young." You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,' declares the Lord.
Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, 'I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant."

God uses people. He uses confident and timid people. He uses young and old, smart and dumb, people of all sizes and shapes and types. People with amazing talents and severe handicaps, He can and does use them all.

He will use you too. You just have to be willing and He will use you for great things. Maybe not great in the eyes of the world but great in the eyes of the King. And that is what truly matters.

God the Defender

Recently I started reading in the minor prophets. This is my mom's favorite group in the Bible, she loves reading the minor prophets- me, not so much. I have a hard time finding things that relate to my walk with Christ in these books. However while I was reading in Malachi something really jumped out at me and I couldn't help but share it today.

Malachi 2:13, 14

"Another thing you do: You flood the Lord's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, "Why?" It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant."

Verses 15-17 continue in this vein but it's these first two verses I want to talk about today. 

Malachi talks about how these men are flooding the Lord's altar with tears. That is a very emotional response. This is not just a passing sadness. They are suffering. And why are they suffering? Why are they weeping and wailing?

"You weep and wail be he no longer looks with favor on your offering or accepts them with pleasure from your hands."

God has rejected them. He's rejected their offering and is punishing them. He's doing this because these men have rejected their wives. They have betrayed the women they swore before God that they would protect.

There are so many injustices in this world, it can be hard to see how such a loving God can allow bad things to happen. Passages like this one in Malachi remind of us something incredibly important but often forgotten. God defends us. He defends the ones who can't stand up for themselves. He brings judgement on their oppressors.

In the time that these verses were written these women didn't have many options to pursue in light of their husband's betrayal. But God didn't just abandon them. He saw their tears and heartbreak and He brought swift judgement on those hurting the ones He loved.

God still defends us today. Even when we can defend ourselves. Sometimes it's through His judgement or sometimes it's through others standing up for us. God has placed people in our lives that fight for us and help us when we can't stand on our own. He never abandons us, He is always with us, ready to fight for us. Go to Him with your problems and seek refuge in the One who will fight for you and defend the righteous, just as He always has.

Another Memorial Day

For Memorial Day this year I wanted to say something about the sacrifice of our soldiers, the price they paid and the commitment we have to keep our country free. Their sacrifice should never be taken for granted. Freedom is not free and I pray we never forget that. 

However I realized that others have put into words what I struggle to say. So I looked up a few poems and posted them along with the authors names and the URL's where I found them below. There's many amazing poems and prayers out there that I would encourage you to take a look at as you remember what this day is truly about. In the interest of wanting to give proper credit and not infringe on copyrights I tried to find ones that I could cite the authors and show the links. I hope you enjoy these as much as I did.

On This Memorial Day

© Emily Toma

Published: June 2014

Remember those who served before.

Remember those who are no more.

Remember those who serve today.

Remember them as we eat and play.

Remember our protectors-

who are not home today.

Remember them all on Memorial Day

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/on-this-memorial-day

FALLEN SOLDIERS

by Cathy Jo Moore

Yes they gave their lives

So that we could be free

So we could live in a land

A land of liberty

They went and fought in battle

And never did return

Leaving behind their loved ones

Who so deeply yearned

So let's all remember them

Giving honor, thanks and prayers

For our fallen soldiers

Who have shown us

Just how much they cared

https://www.facebook.com/granburyfieldofflags/photos/fallen-soldiersby-cathy-jo-mooreyes-they-gave-their-livesso-that-we-could-be-fre/1812379252392148/

Del “Abe” Jones

MEMORIAL DAY, 2002

Freedom’s Memorial

This day is set aside

to honor those

who took the chance to die.

But they have died in vain

if we ever forget

the reason why.

Freedom can be like time

slipping away

before we even know.

But we all have the choice

more, a duty

to battle freedoms’ foe.

Let us give thanks this day

to all those brave

who paid the highest cost.

Not take it for granted

and realize

it easily could be lost.

©Copyright 2002 by Del “Abe” Jones

https://iwvpa.net/jonesd/memorial-02.php

Rides in the Mustang

My oldest brother and I have always been close. When I was little and we would stay at my grandparents house I wouldn't want to go to bed so Johnny would come in the room and sit next to me and tell me bedtime stories. They were always stories that he made up and the princess was never the one in distress but always the one who saved the day. Oh and the dragons were almost always friendly and protected the princess. Occasionally there would be a bad dragon but not very often. The stories were definitely catered to the audience.

As we got older we had our differences, he's six years older then me so there were times we were too caught up in our own lives to spend time to much each other. Now days it's rare that we go more then a few days without talking at least once. He makes sure to check in on me and I make sure to tell him when he's wrong.

We've always had a pretty good relationship but probably my favorite memories were when I was a young teenager and Johnny was in his early twenties. He owned a '66 Mustang for a few years and he would often take me with him when he'd go into town. Sometimes he was taking me to church events or dropping me off somewhere but often we were just running around doing stuff.

It was during those car rides that we took time to just relax and enjoy hanging out. We'd have long conversations about what was going on in our lives. He'd encourage me with whatever dream I was currently pursuing of "what do I want to be when I grow up". I'd tease him about girls he liked. We listened to tons of country music. And we laughed a lot. Sometimes we'd argue or debate or complain. Mostly we'd just roll the windows down, let the wind blow my hair every which way and just enjoy hanging out.

There's something special about hanging out with siblings. These are the people that are your family and that will never change. There's a trust there and a bond that even when it's tested won't be broken. There's something wonderful about those relationships and memories, like mine with Johnny riding in the Mustang, those are definitely memories I will always treasure.

Enjoy the people in your life. God places them there for a reason.

Honoring Parents, Not Just on Holidays

On this very special Mother's Day Weekend I asked my wonderful mom, Teresa Kirk, to write a post. She chose to talk about honoring parents from her unique perspective as as you read you'll understand why I asked her to write this today. Happy Mother's Day friends! Enjoy!

I wanted to share some thoughts I had on caring for your Mom (or elderly parents).  I claim  legitimate experience, as I cared for my In-Laws in the late 1990’s early 2000’s and have my parents with me now.

My Mother-in-Law had been dealing with a husband with Alzheimer’s disease; if you have a family member with this awful disease my heart aches for you.  Nine days after Dad was hospitalized the phone rang around 1:30 a.m., it didn’t sound like anyone I knew, but the caller I.D. showed it was my mother-in-law.  A quick trip next door indicated Mom had suffered a stroke; so she too was hospitalized.  After just a short time in a nursing home, my father-in-law passed away.  Knowing Mom would not survive the breast cancer she was fighting, we made the choice to bring her home, to her house in January.  This meant moving our family of six into her three bedroom home – we squished and made it (one was gone for the school year, when she returned she joined her brother using the RV for a bedroom).  We only had her until September of that year. Was it hard?  Absolutely!  Mom was unable to move by herself so each morning I transferred her from bed to wheelchair, helped her through her morning routine and then transferred her into a large recliner.  We gave up things like meals around the table, because it was too hard for her to sit at the table.  In caring for her, my children learned compassion, they learned patience (especially when Grandma wanted you to bring her cane to her so she could walk to the bathroom on her own – it was brought and propped just out of reach; or when she demanded they share their candy with her; or she needed a drinkher, they learned to do so); we had months of sharing her love of baseball, Perry Mason and Murder She Wrote; and months of saying our last good-byes.  Would I do it again?  In a heartbeat!

Fast forward to the past few years, my Mom (the one who taught me to cook) can no longer remember how to prepare a meal.  My parents were a two hour drive away, so several times a year we made the drive to their place, sometimes with my sisters, sometimes alone, where I stocked their freezer with pre-made meals for them to thaw and cook.  Last summer they moved in with my husband and myself.  We chauffer them, cook for them, and generally try to make life a little easier on them.  My Mom’s memory isn’t good, while my Dad’s hearing and eye sight are poor.

I believe this is the way God has led me to honor my parents (both mine and my husbands).  It was modeled for me, by several family members.  My Dad’s parents had my great-grandmother live with them when I was a teenager.  While I cared for my in-laws, my parents helped with that grandmother, allowing her to remain in her own apartment by moving into one in the same building.  My aunt drove into town almost daily to help care for her.  Later my Mom’s sister had my other grandmother live with her for over a decade, before she came to my Mom for the last months of her life.  

Is it wrong to place a family member in a skilled nursing facility?  Absolutely not, there are times when it is the best option, both of my in-laws spent time in one.  We did our best to have a family member with them daily.  My aunt and mother did the same thing for my grandmother and I remember coming home from college to visit my great-grandmother in a home.  

I am saddened by the comments I hear of people not having time for their parents or grandparents or even great-grandparents.  Some are hard to be around but a phone call, once a week or better yet, daily, will cheer them.  It doesn’t have to be long.  Do you live a distance away?  That phone call becomes even more important.

I challenge you to look for ways you can let your parents, grandparents or another special older person know how important they are. Moving them in with you – might not work for your family dynamics.  I have a friend whose mother insisted that she would go to an assisted living facility when the time came; they are both happier with that choice.

A few suggestions for honoring the elderly:  call them, visit them, take them to visit someone else. Take them out to eat (my husband’s grandmother was thrilled just to go to McDonald’s). Spoil them (take them their favorite cookies or candy – you might have to hide it from their care-giver*); take them grocery shopping – or ask if you can pick something up for them, buy them flowers (and not just for expected dates). Take them on a trip, take your children or grandchildren to visit – but you may need to keep it short – or take them to visit your grandchildren or their own; Listen to them.  

Each situation is unique, so use your own personality to let them know how important they are.

It is a God given command to honor our mother and father but just so you know, there is benefit in it for you too. Not only will your children see what you have modeled, they will learn from the experience too.  

*This ties to a family story of my grandmother being upset because my Granny always had candy (she had a sweet tooth) – that my Dad (and probably others) would slip to her when Grandma wasn’t looking.  Years later my sister, ‘The Cookie Aunt’ would slip cookies to our Grandma when her daughter wasn’t looking – my cousin’s wife slips them to my Aunt too.  The caregiver’s may not even care – but there’s just something exciting about thinking you’re being ‘naughty’!

Hope Deffered

Today I have the honor of sharing this post that was written by one of my favorite people in the world- my mom. Her wisdom is a constant in my life and I'm thrilled that she agreed to share a piece of that wisdom and her story with all of you today. Enjoy!

Katt’s Mom here, Thank You Kattarin for letting me be a guest on your blog.

With Mother’s Day just around the corner my mind goes back to the days when I wasn’t a mother yet, not for lack of wanting to be or trying on our part – but because it wasn’t God’s time yet.  I spent hours in the Psalms dealing with my “enemy” infertility.  The words from a popular praise song, In His Time – He makes all things beautiful, in His Time, would run through my mind, over and over and over again.  Sometimes it just didn’t feel like it helped, other times there was a real sense of peace – that ‘God’s got this’, and He did.  Kattarin is the youngest of five,   (four biological and one adopted into the family at the age of 16).  

Proverbs 13:12 (NLT) says Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.

What hope is being deferred for you today?  Is it having children (my heart aches for you – I understand that pain).  Is it carrying a child full term (my first grandson was born at 22 weeks, I’m not sure how many others weren’t carried that long – two that I know of), having children in heaven still leaves you with empty arms.  Is it having a husband?  A friend once said, I know God is a husband to me, but I really just want one with skin and bones.  Is it moving out? Changing jobs? Moving closer or farther away from . . .?  There are so many things we can be waiting for.  

Jeremiah 29:11 is often quoted, ‘For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.’  Have you ever looked at verse 10?  It says they have to be in Babylon for 70 years before God would come and do all the good things He promised.  Do you feel like you are in Babylon?  Do you know what God commanded His people to do while they were there?  To build homes, plant gardens, LIVE THEIR LIVES!  

My friend, what garden are you planting while you wait for your dream to be fulfilled?  Don’t just mark time, enjoy this time.  If I had become a Mom at 20 or 22 or any time prior to when I did, I would not have my precious Kattarin – because I would have been a different kind of Mom without the life experiences (and heartbreak) that happened in those first seven years of my marriage.  

Trusting the Lord is leading you on the Path He has planned just for you!

Teresa, also known as, Katt’s Mom

The Hobbit

Over a year ago my friends and I started doing movie marathons. We choose a series and watch about one movie a week so it takes us a long time to go through a series. The upside is that we watch them close enough together to really get immersed in the experience without cramming so much in a weekend that we're sick of the story line, or just spacing out and missing details.

About a month ago we decided to watch the Lord of the Rings movies, starting with the three Hobbit movies that I'd never seen before. Predictably, I found a few things to blog about.

The scene I want to talk about today comes in the third Hobbit movie. For those who don't know the story there's a dragon who has been sleeping in a mountain, by the time you get to the third movie-    *SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* 

Okay, now that we settled that- by the time you get to the third movie the dragon is awake and it's attacking the town of Laketown. There's only one thing that can defeat it, a special black arrow and there's only one fatal spot. where there is a scale missing on the dragon's hide. The archer, Bard, has to hit that exact spot while the dragon is flying but the dragon, Smaug, breathes fire and destroys the bow. 

Bard's son is in the tower with him and Bard, in order to save everyone, has to stretch the bow string between two posts and rest the arrow on his son's shoulder in order to stabilize it so he can get off the shot. His son keeps looking over his shoulder, looking at his town going up in flames, people screaming and trying to escape and the dragon wreaking havoc to all he knows and loves. 

Bard calls to him, "Bain. Look at me. You look at me."

It got me thinking, isn't that what our Heavenly Father says to us? Look at me. Don't look at the chaos that your life has descended into, don't look at the mistakes you've made, don't look at the uncertainty of the future, look at the Father. Keep your eyes on Him, no matter what, and He will deal with everything. Our job is only to trust, no matter how awful things look, our job is to keep our eyes on Him, His job is to deal with everything else.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

A Day of Mourning

Did you know that today is a day of mourning? Or at least it was once, over two thousand years ago. Because that year something terrifying happened. This man, Jesus, who thousands of people had come to believe was the Messiah, the Holy one, sent by God to redeem them from their sins, He went into Jerusalem almost a week before this day.

That day was celebrated. It was like the arrival of a King. Jesus rode on the back of a colt that had never been ridden before. People lined the streets and laid down palm branches and coats for the donkey to walk on as they shouted "Hosana to the son of David!" "Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!" "Hosana in the highest heaven!"

The crowds went ahead of him shouting and followed him shouting. The stirred the whole city with this triumphant arrival. But then just a few days later on Friday the unthinkable happened. One of Jesus most trusted disciples, Judas Iscariot, betrayed Him to His enemies and handed Him over to the chief priests and the Pharisees.

He was made to stand trial while yet another friend, following at a distance, denied that He even knew Him. Not just once but three times. And then when the farce of a trial was completed and all His friends had disappeared Jesus, who had never, not even once, sinned but lived a perfect life was beaten, tortured, mocked, humiliated and forced to carry a cross along the Via Dolorosa to Golgotha where He was nailed to the wood, raised up for all to mock and the sins of the entire world, past, present and future were laid on Him.

That pain was far greater then the physical torture He had suffered and the sin was so great that the Father God turned His face away. The world went black and Jesus in His final moment cried out, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they have done." And then He died. The curtain in the temple that separated the Holy of Holies where God dwelt, and the rest of the temple where the people entered, ripped from top to bottom in that moment.

And thousands, perhaps even more, mourned. And many more realized that they hadn't just killed a man they'd murdered the Son of God. And they were scared.

But our story doesn't end with this tragic day of Good Friday. It doesn't even end the next day, today, Saturday when so many mourned. If it did I would have no reason to write about it today, or write at all to be honest. Instead our story continues.

Easter Sunday came and some women went down to tomb where Jesus' body had been laid. But when they got there they didn't find the dead body of Jesus, instead they found that the huge rock blocking the tomb had been rolled away and a angel was sitting there!

He told the women not to be afraid because Jesus had risen from the dead just as He had said He would! The angel told them to look inside the tomb themselves and then to go tell the disciples. When they did Peter and John also came to see for themselves and Jesus' body was indeed gone. He had risen.

Over the next 40 days Jesus appeared many times to these disciples and others and huge crowds. He continued to teach and even more came to believe in Him. Then He ascended to heaven but someday He'll come back.

Jesus was not just a man. He was and is the Son of God. Jesus was crucified. He did rise again. He is coming back. And that is why we celebrate even as we remember the grief and sacrifice that our Lord made when He died on the cross for our sins. That if you "declare with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord', and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9

Happy Easter everyone! He is risen!