A Note to Parents

I'm not a parent. However because of my position as a youth director I talk to parents who are often at their wits ends with their teenagers. I get the opportunity to talk to them about what's going on in their lives and their kids lives and offer them encouragement during those difficult times. There's one thing that I hear consistently from parents.

"I'm a terrible parent. I feel like I've failed them."

Over and over and over again I hear parents from all walks of life say this to me. And for the record I have parents of kids who aren't teenagers say this to me too. Parents of little ones say this all the time and just so you know I've even had parents of adults say this to me.


The thing that I tell parents is what I want to share with any parent reading this today. If you love your child, if you teach them what the Lord calls them to do, if you're doing the best you can and consistently trying to do what's right for your child then you haven't failed them. Have you made mistakes? Sure. Everyone does! Whether or not they're a parent. There's no way around that.

The fact is that there's no way to be a perfect parent. There's just not. What you can do is be the best parent that you can. Here's a few things I've heard parents suggest over the years.

When you make a mistake, admit it and even apologize.

Make your kids a priority. Consistently be there for them and go above just providing their basic needs, provide them the love and support that they also need.

Encourage them. A simple word of encouragement will go miles with your kid. I promise.

Teach your kids about the Lord. This is the most important thing you can do, teaching your kids about the God who created them and loves them. Teaching them to follow Him is the most important lesson you can ever teach them.

Loving them. Seriously, it's hard to express how far just a simple hug will go. Your kids need to know you love them. Say the words, give them hugs, show affection. That's so, so, so important!!!!

So let's recap. Love your kids, teach them what's right, teach them a relationship with the Lord, make them a priority, encourage them and accept the fact that you won't be perfect and neither are they. No parents are perfect. It doesn't mean you're a failure. As your kids become adults they'll make their own decisions, some of them will be wrong. Just be there for them. Just because they're growing up doesn't mean they don't still need you. They're kids and they're frustrating but they're your kids. There will be times you think you failed but chances are you haven't, you just need to hang in there and teach them do the same.