It's interesting how different months have different causes attached to them. One month is the awareness month for Alzheimer's well another months is awareness for Autism, or child abuse or strokes, and so on. This isn't a criticism. Those causes are all serious and worthy of our attention and raising awareness and funds. October is breast cancer awareness month. It's also Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness month.
When I was little my grandparents lived next door to us. We were on the same piece of property but different houses. I don't remember what age I was the first time that my grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer. I do remember that my aunt was diagnosed around the same time. Then, at least from the perspective of a child, it seemed to go away and life went back to normal. I think it was a couple of years later when grandma's cancer came back. I don't remember being overly worried about it at first, after all she'd beaten it before. I was scared, but I didn't really grasp the full implications of what this could mean. Unfortunately life wasn't that simple. The cancer was hard on her. And when she suffered a massive stroke it proved too much for her body to come back from. We had her with us for nine more months. I was eleven when she passed away.
A few years later another aunt got breast cancer. I was a teenager that time around and had a much better understanding of what it meant. I was terrified, and I remember times of literally being on my knees begging God to please spare her. And He did. She's been over ten years cancer free and I'm so grateful.
These loved ones are not the only ones that I've watched suffer with this awful disease. It's why this awareness cause means so much to me.
And then there's Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness. This one's much harder to write about because it's not my story. Or it is, but not in the way most people think of it. There's too many children to specify in this post. Most of them never had a name but I still carry their loss with me.
One, the one that haunts me the most, is my nephew. Tayden. Tayden was born on May 6th, 2010. And that was the same day he died. He only lived for the briefest of moments. He was born premature and I can still remember the moment the phone rang that morning, telling my parents the news. I didn't want to get out of bed, I tried to go back to sleep because I knew from the part of the conversation I overheard that it was bad news.
Tayden was my oldest nephew and I was so excited to meet him. My brother and sister-in-law, his parents, had previous miscarriages, so when they got past the first trimester I was overjoyed. I couldn't wait to finally be an aunt. And I was devastated when we lost him. To this day one of the things I look forward to most about heaven is getting to meet Tayden, and my other nieces and nephews for the first time.
There were other children too, some of my other siblings have had miscarriages that have broken my heart. My best friend lost a little one as well. Every time it's a devastating loss. Although I can't understand the pain that their parents have gone through I do carry a burden of pain as well. As those kiddo's aunt I miss them every day and I know that pain won't ever really leave until I'm reunited with them in heaven one day. I'm so grateful for the nieces and nephews that I have, living, but I'll always miss the ones that I never got to snuggle and spoil.
That's why this cause is so dear to my heart.
So this October say a prayer for those who are dealing with breast cancer or who have had a miscarriage or lost an infant. And if you're a family member then please understand that this is your pain too. You may not have been the one going through chemo or hearing the doctor's tragic confirmation but it's still a loss. And if you need someone to talk to or just to lend an ear then leave me a note in the comments of how I can reach out or send me an email. I'm happy to talk and pray with you anytime.
No comments:
Post a Comment