A Year of Gratefulness

2020 has been a year of chaos, trials and tribulations. Like every year we've all had our problems. Unlike most years our world faced a virus that shut down the global economy. No one living has ever seen anything like what COVID-19 has put our world through this year. With the pandemic came fear and confusion, public and personal crises as countries, companies and individuals faced unexpected times of unemployment, loss of income, medical bills and having to adapt to a world we didn't recognize. With all of that, this New Year might be the most anticipated that I can remember. Everyone is ready to put 2020 behind us and pray that 2021 will be a better year.

This year has brought a lot of personal challenges for me as well. There's also been a lot of really wonderful things that have happened. I started the year without a job, I'm ending it at a job I enjoy with people I love. I left a church but I also had to challenge my own beliefs and my faith was made stronger. In addition to that I've had the opportunity to listen to other churches and pastors from around the country and that's been wonderful. I've met new friends, spent time with family and got to be in one of my best friend's wedding. Being a part of her special day was definitely a highlight of my year. I started doing weekly check in's with my goddaughter and that's become something I always look forward to. Hearing about her week at school, the friends she's playing with and the things she's learning is delightful. And I know that it's building the foundation of a relationship that will get stronger with time.

Just before Christmas my grandpa wrote a Christmas letter that he sent out to a lot of friends and family. It included a list of a few things that he's grateful for. Let me share his words with you today.

"#1 Sixty-five years of marriage to my wife, Virginia. I tell people that I have married many beautiful girls, but I have only kept one."

In case you've missed previous posts Grandpa was a pastor for over sixty years. In that time he performed countless weddings so that joke has long been one of his favorites. It never fails to make me smile.

"#2 We have been blessed with five daughters who love us..."

He also listed the names of his daughters and where they all live.

"#3 We are blessed with 18 grandchildren plus 18 great-grandchildren and number 19 on its way, making a total of 36 with number 37 due in June."

I'm #12 of the grandchildren, and I'm so excited to meet my cousin's baby boy who is due in June 2021.

Grandpa went on in his letter to say that time won't permit him to list the number of ways that God has led and blessed their lives. He also encouraged others to list a few things they're grateful for.

My three for this year are simple but sincere.

#1 I'm grateful for my family. My parents are always there for me and I wouldn't know what to do without them. My grandparents are such a blessing to me and I'm grateful for the time that I get to spend with them. My sibling are people that I can be proud of. My nieces and nephews are absolutely delightful. I've been very blessed.

#2 My friends. I have a lot of friends which is a blessing in and of itself. This year I've met new friends, I've reconnected with old friends and I've been blessed with those who have known me for a long time and have always been there. They each bring something unique and wonderful to my life and I'm so grateful for them.

#3 My writing. Although both my blog and my books can inspire a great deal of frustration they also provide a creative outlet that I desperately need. Releasing my first book this year was incredibly terrifying but also rewarding. My favorite part is when people tell me it made them think about their own lives or their faith. Through my writing I can share what the Lord is teaching me, by doing so it makes those same lessons really sink into my heart and life.

So that's the last post for 2020. And for the last challenge of the year I would encourage you to write a list of at least a few things that you are grateful for. 

Also, due to some things that are coming up I'm going to take the month of January off. You know that I've been working on book #2 of the Yagos series and I need some time to focus on that. I'm hoping that 2021 will get off to a better start and I'll be back to share some things at the beginning of February. I have lots of ideas but need a time of rest before I try to write them. Until then, have a happy New Year friends!

Weary or Merry Christmas

 his morning I listened to a wonderful sermon on a live stream. Before I get into this post I just want to say how grateful I am for the gifts of technology that God has blessed us with. Although I'd really prefer to be meeting in person, the fact that I haven't found a place to call my church home has led me to listen to sermons from churches across the country. It's been amazing to hear God's word coming from different churches and pastors around the nation. It's been such a unexpected blessing!

Back to today's topic. One of the points the pastor was talking about was weariness. It's been a year where people have just felt broken down, defeated, exhausted and yes, emotionally and spiritually weary. (There's been plenty of physical weariness too but that's not what I'm talking about today.) That's made this Christmas season a very difficult time to choose joy. And yet it's a joyful season. It's the season of celebrating God's gift to us, His Son. How can we not be joyful?

The fact is that we have a choice. No matter what year it is, or day it is, or what our circumstances or what's going on in the world we are given a choice. Choose to be broken down by a world that is not our home and become weary, or choose to follow our Savior, walk in His footsteps and choose an everlasting joy.

Please understand, I'm not saying it's an easy thing to do. The decision is easy, the actions are harder. Matthew 11:29 says "Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

Learning to follow in Jesus's footsteps and how to choose joy is a learning process. We have to let Him teach us. The first time you saw a long division problem in math class did you have any idea how to solve it? Probably not! You had to learn. You had to let someone teach you the step by step process and then practice it until it became a learned skill. This is a similar concept. I don't think we'll every perfect this skill this side of heaven but it will get easier. And we are not alone! The Lord is there to help us every step of the way.

Isaiah 40:31 says "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

And Philippians 4:13 says "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."

One more, in the second half of Nehemiah 8:10, "This is a sacred day before the Lord. Don't be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!"

Now, I admit that I'm not sure the exact context of the verse in Nehemiah but it jumped out at me because it's a great reminder as we head into this Christmas week. This is a sacred, holy time that we are celebrating. So let's celebrate! The joy of the Lord is our strength and I don't want to be weary this Christmas. I want to choose joy and have a very Merry Christmas. How about you?

Merry Christmas everyone!

Christmas Carols

 Christmas music is one of my very favorite parts of the season. It's one thing that is still normal this year. Even though so much is different we're still able to enjoy Christmas music. I'm one of the annoying people who can listen to Christmas music at basically any time of the year. As I've gotten older I listen to it less then I used to but every Thanksgiving the music starts up again! The radio station gets changed to an all Christmas music station. My phone fills up with Christmas song downloads and I start humming time treasured carols everywhere I go. 

This year I have a few Christmas music highlights I thought I'd share.

One of my favorite Christmas songs is "Little Drummer Boy". I know that we have no knowledge of a drummer boy being at the manger but so what? Maybe he came along with the wise men. Or he was staying at the inn because he was training with the army but was sent to Bethlehem where his family was. Or maybe he's a fictional character that was made up just write the song. Who cares? The point is the song is wonderful and this year For King and Country did a rendition that has the sweetest music video ever. I absolutely love it!

Then there's a traditional Christmas song that I didn't really understand the significance of as a child is one that has come to mean a lot to me this year is "Go Tell it on the Mountain". I first started thinking about it when my roommate mentioned that it was one of her favorites. It made me really think about the words for the first time in years. As I started pondering it I realized what a power message it has as it tells us to share this wonderful news everywhere we go. If there's one thing we can use this year it's good news. And what better news is there then the reason for Christmas?

A new Christmas song was released this year by Rend Collective. "Christmas in Killarney" is fun and quirky and absolutely delightful. It's definitely going to end up on my most played list before too long. This song embodies the nature of the album name "A Jolly Irish Christmas (Vol. 2)". It's absolutely delightful and I'm becoming more and more certain that I'm going to end up putting it on a playlist to just cheer myself up all throughout the year.

One of my old favorites that has never gone out of style is "Mary Did You Know". This wonderful, thought provoking song never fails to send chills down my spine and make me wonder about the young girl who was chosen to be the mother of our Lord. What did she know? And how did she deal with it all? There's a conversation I look forward to having when I get to heaven one day!

Third Day released a song called "Manger Throne" that I heard on the radio the other day. It talks about the wonder of a King who gave up His throne, a Lord who leaves His home, all because of his love for us. It's a really beautiful tribute.

One more old favorite is "Silver Bells". I remember my sister teaching me this song when I was a kid and to this day I loving hearing bells chime every Christmas. Even the bell ringers for the Salvation Army are one of my favorite parts of the season!

I'll finish today with another one of my favorites. "Silent Night" is almost hauntingly beautiful. The second verse is my favorite as it paints the picture of the angels appearing before the shepherds that long ago night. It really would be terrifying but oh so incredible!

What are your favorite Christmas carols? I'd love for you to drop me a note in the comments or find my author page on Facebook, just search K. L. Kirk and my page should come right up. Leave me a note on my page and share what songs will be gracing the airways of your home this holiday season. 

This Strange Christmas

I know, this is not my normal day to post. You know that I missed posting on my normal day last week. We all know that it's 2020 and unexpected and strange things happen that throw a plan off course. And although COVID has nothing to do with why I didn't get a post written last week, let's just blame it on the virus and move on shall we?

Last Spring I remember writing a post called "Silent Saturday" about how Easter didn't look anything like what I was used to but it made me focus on what was really important about the holiday. At that time I never expected things to still look so strange at Christmas. Even as I write this I'm sitting on my couch, staring and my tree and all the lights and decorations I've put up, while knowing that, although my house may look like Christmas, this holiday isn't going to look like the last few years.

Part of that is what everyone's experiencing, it's 2020, COVID is still hanging over our heads, gatherings are limited and masks are mandated. Part of it is personal. One of my brothers is in the NAVY now so he won't be home for Christmas and sadly, neither will his wife. One of my roommates got married this year so I won't be able to spend Christmas Eve or Christmas with her as I have the last couple of years. For only the second time in my entire life I don't have a church I'm involved in right now so I won't be involved in any services at my home church. (I will be attending services at the church I grew up in where my family still attends though.)

Some things look normal, some look different. I'm not exactly sure how everything will play out but I know it's going to be a strange Christmas for a lot of people. So what do you do? 

Focus on what is happening. If you're at home with family then focus on them and take some extra time as you focus on the reason for the season. Make sure your kids really know the story, take time to discuss how Joseph and Mary, the shepherds, the wise men and the innkeeper may have been feeling. If you're by yourself then read the story with fresh eyes. Maybe even try a different Bible translation to help you see it differently.

If you're able to go somewhere for Christmas then be grateful for that. It's a blessing not everyone will have. If you're at home then find a way to make it cheery even it's just a few lights or candles placed in the windows. You might not think too much of it but it might cheer up a neighbor walking by. Or send out Christmas cards! That's something that I love to get in the mail!

Give generously. There are so many people hurting financially this year. If you're able to then donate toys, food or even money to families you know or organizations or who can make sure those gifts are going where there needed. And if you can't give, that's okay! But you can smile, or speak an encouraging or friendly word, and that's just as important this year!

Finally celebrate! Start with celebrating traditions, whether this is the year you resurrect an old tradition, carry on one that never died or create a new one, find a way to celebrate a tradition. Traditions can be serious or goofy but they have a way of helping us remember. Remember why we celebrate, remember who we celebrate with or just remember the fun times we've had in the past. And even if you skip the traditions phase then you can still celebrate. Even with everything that's gone on this year we can still celebrate Christmas! Jesus is the reason for the season and that will always be worth celebrating even on this strange Christmas!

Thankful for Prayers

The other day my Grandpa was talking to me about last weeks blog's post about God's plans for our lives. He said that when he was growing up his family was quite poor but his parents always made sure there was enough money to send the kids to church camp. One summer, I think Grandpa was in junior high, the speaker at the camp told them to take out a piece of paper and sign their names at the bottom. The paper was blank. The speaker told them that was their contract with God. When they gave their lives to Him they signed the contract, now He got to fill in the details. From that time on Grandpa knew that he was going to be a pastor. He built his life on that knowledge and straight from high school he headed into Bible college. God always had a plan for His life and although his years of ministry have been anything but easy He trusted in that plan and lived his life for the Lord.

However just living your life day by day with a vague plan in mind is exhausting. Sure there's a goal and a vague reason for your decisions but what happens when life gets hard? When you get a curveball thrown at you? You need something to rejuvenate you, to remind you of why you're living your life for the Lord. A vague concept of "because God has called me to this" isn't going to be enough for most people. It certainly wouldn't be for me.

That's why this week what I'm grateful for is what takes us from living out a set of guidelines or rules and makes our faith a relationship. Prayer. The ability and gift and commandment to communicate and commune with our Lord and Savior.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

Prayer is one of the greatest tools we have in helping us live our lives for Christ. It's one of the best weapons we have in fighting against the enemy. It's the greatest medicine we can ask for in asking for healing for ourselves or others. 

We don't always get the answer we want when we pray. Sometimes it's no, or wait, or I'm going to give you what you want but not in the way you expected, or I'm going to give you what you need but not what you want, or sometimes it's just yes. 

Prayers is not a method of accessing God like a vending machine. We can't just send up a prayer like we would put in some cash and then expect God to drop down whatever we've asked for like a bag of Cheez-It's. Prayer is about communication. We use prayer to talk to God, to share with Him our fears and concerns and burdens. To thank Him for all He's given us. To rejoice about what He's doing and praise Him for His many wonderous blessings and for all of creation. We pray on behalf of others and intercede for them because God wants to hear from us. We pray because prayer has power and the more we pray and our faith is strengthened the less power the enemy has. We pray so we can hear what God has to say to us. And we pray because we are His children and talking to our loving Father is something we should delight in as much as He delights in hearing from us.

Prayer is a very mysterious thing to me most of the time. It's also very simple. We pray to talk to God. And we pray to hear from Him. Prayer is powerful. I may not understand how it all works but I've seen the effects. 

My great-grandparents prayed for their children to love the Lord. Four of their six children went into full time ministry. They prayed to have the money to provide for those kids and God always gave them enough to send their kids to camp. My grandpa prayed that God would use him and he spent over 60 years as a pastor. God answers prayers. Not always in the way we want or expect but He does answer. And our faith is strengthened by spending time with Him. 

I don't know what your praying for today but when you take time to speak to the Lord today I encourage you to thank Him for the power and the blessing of prayer. It's something we all have reason to be incredibly thankful for.

God's Plan

 This week the thing I'm most thankful for is that God has a plan for my life. Please believe me when I tell you that is not a statement that I take lightly, nor is it an easy one for me to say. There are days that I cannot even pretend to understand why He allows things to happen or why He doesn't cause other things to occur. There are prayers that go unanswered, sometimes I pray something that I'm sure will be granted and instead He says no. Other times there are prayers that go years and years before they come to fruition. And there's some that He answers in a way that I would never expect or even want. 

Jeremiah 29:11 is probably one of the most quoted verses today. And I can understand why, after all the words are very inspiring.

'"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."'

It sounds wonderful. Until you look at the context. This isn't just a wishy-washy, 'hey I want you all to be happy' type of verse. It so much more serious. Jeremiah is in middle of telling the people that the Babylonians will conquer their land and drag them all off into captivity. And not just them but their children and everyone they love. These Babylonians, the people's enemies, will take them away from everything they know and hold dear. Yet with that dire prophecy hanging over them Jeremiah also gives them this amazing promise from God. The prophet tells them that God will not abandon them in Babylon and He will not forget them. After 70 years God will bring them back. 

Sometimes I'll be praying something for a few months and then I get discouraged so I give up. I can't imagine heading into 70 YEARS of exile away from my home and trying to cling to this prophecy, can you? On the other hand, isn't this the same verse we cling to every time we face something difficult?

I do believe that this verse applies to us. God does know the plans that He has for each of us. And in Romans 8:28 Paul says, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." 

So does God have plans for good? For our future if we are His children? Yes, of course! Does that make it easy believing in His plan? Not so much. However it does give me reason to be incredibly thankful that He has a plan for my life. It's probably not the plan that I expect, and maybe not the one I would hope for. It will also be far better then I can dream. 

When life gets troubled and things are hard let this be what we remember; God has a plan for our lives, it's a plan for good. He plans to give us hope and a future. That's what I'm incredibly thankful for this week.

Our Country

This week I want to really take a moment to reflect on how grateful I am for this country. The freedoms and liberties are some of the things I hold most dear in this world. So many men and women have fought, bled, and died for this great nation. Many of my ancestors were among them. In more recent history some who have signed up have been friends of mine, and family members. Just this week my brother joined those honored ranks. He follows in the footsteps of my dad before him. 

I'm so grateful for the sacrifices that they and their families have made to protect our freedoms. And today I want to take a moment to focus on some the freedoms that I'm most thankful for.

-Freedom of Speech: It is a rare and amazing privilege to live in a nation where we have freedom of speech. Yes, people abuse this all the time. However that's their right. And whereas in other nations telling someone about Jesus could be considered hate speech, here in America, even if others disagree, we still have the right to say it. That's a truly incredible gift and one I'm so thankful for. Without that gift I wouldn't be able to write about whatever I want; because of it, the things I write on my blog or in my books is protected by my constitutional right.

-The right to protect ourselves: The right to keep and bear arms is just as rare if not more so then the freedom of speech. This allows us to protect ourselves, our loved ones and our properties. Those things cannot just be taken away from us. They are ours and we have to right to defend them. Think about it. Without this right someone with power could come and take your children, or your house, and you wouldn't have any legal right to stop them. That's why this right is so significant and why we must fight to keep it.

-The right to worship: I'm sure that there's times we wish everyone worshiped the way we did but the right to worship or not worship, as we choose is one of the most amazing things about this country. It's the same choice that God has given us since the beginning. Obey Him or not. Our country gives us protection to make that choice. We can worship the Lord or not but the  government won't interfere with our decision. That's pretty incredible.

-To protest: This one's harder. I find that I disagree with a lot of the reasons people protest these days but I'm grateful they have the right to. Think for a moment what would happen if you decided to stage a protest in a communist country. Or one run by a dictator. 

. . .

Got that image in your head? Yeah. Now imagine what it's like when people protest here. They are given the right to meet and protest peacefully and our government protects that right. That's an incredible, sometimes unheard of, idea. Let's not take it for granted.

-The right to vote: The right to free and fair elections is one of the most crucial things in one allows our nation to be what it is today. This is not a political statement or a pitch for one side or the other. It is a reminder that this right, and all of these rights, bear with them an incredible responsibility. Please, do not take them lightly.

So that's it. This week I'm thankful for our nation, and I'm incredibly thankful for those who choose every day to defend it. I'm also honored that my brother has now become one of those serving but it's not without sacrifice. When my 7 year old niece learned he was leaving she started crying and asked him why he had to go. He told her that he was joining the Navy to protect the people of this great nation. She was just sad she won't get to see him for a long time and I understand, I'm sad about that too; but I'm so proud of the fact that she'll know her uncle was out there making sure she could grow up safe and free in this great nation.

Thank you to all who have served or are serving and thank you to the families who pay so many sacrifices and don't get the recognition you deserve. 

Thankful for Family

Happy November everyone! In years past I try to take time in November to think about the things that I'm thankful for. This week has had some interesting ups and downs and a few times of just feeling 'blah'. I think that makes it more important to focus on what I'm thankful for. 

This week I'm choosing to think of one of the greatest blessing I have. My family. Those I'm legally or biologically related to and those I'm not. My family always had an "open door" policy growing up. There were tons of people in and out of our lives and our home. It led to me having a bit of a different definition of family. 

I choose to believe that family isn't always the people we share blood with but the people we choose to let be a part of our lives and choose to be a part of theirs.

This week we celebrated two birthdays of "family members" that I'm not related to.

The first, my adorable godson. Clay turned 4 this week I can hardly believe it! His mom, Haleigh, has been a part of my family for over ten years. She was one of several teenagers who lived with my family at different times. Haleigh and her husband Josh, later returned the favor by letting me live with them for over a year when we were in our early twenties. I was there when they found out they were expecting their first child, Sam. I got to be there when both Sam and Clay were born. And I have the great pleasure of being godmother to those two beautiful children. Clay may not look like me but he's 100% my nephew and I'm so grateful to have him, his sister, and his parents as part of my family.

The other birthday was my brother's best friend, Michael. He's been part of our family for over half my life. He's also in about half of our family photos. My nephew was named after him. He's one of those people that will always be there for any of us if we need anything. That's just a few of the reasons that we're blessed to call him a part of our family. 

There's others I'm grateful for. My amazing parents. My sweet grandparents. My hilarious aunts, uncles and awesome cousins. My incredible siblings, my adorable nieces and nephews. My wonderful friends and so many others.

I'm extremely blessed with those in my life. The family that I was born with and those who have been added to my life through the years. I wouldn't know what to do without them. 

That's my first thankful post. What about you? Who in your family are you thankful for this week?

Saturday Morning Adventure

  Friday afternoon as I was leaving work I was thinking about everything that I needed to do this weekend. My mind was on errands that I needed to run, paperwork that was waiting, bills needing paid. I had cleaning to do, food that needed cooked or used up, scenes needing written, emails to answer and people to see. As I said goodbye to my boss she told me to do something fun this weekend. For a minute I just looked at her, trying to come up with what fun thing I could do. She even offered me some suggestions but I wasn't sure how to fit those in with my planned schedule.

When I got home I decided to start on my fun project" before diving into work. My at home pedicure and facial that followed definitely helped me relax but there was still a lot of work waiting. First on the list was a blog for the week. When I sat down to write this post I discovered that I had no inspiration. None. I had a list of topics I could write about but the words wouldn't flow. 

 A new tactic was needed. So I set an alarm for early Saturday morning. Armed with a cup of coffee, a light breakfast, warm clothes and some hiking boots I set off for my adventure.

I knew exactly where I was headed. This trail is one of my favorite places on earth. Not far from where I grew up I've hiked it countless times but it never ceases to bring me joy an amazement as I wonder at God's beautiful creation.

As I walked and studied the turning leaves, the river's currents and the cool fall air I reveled in the peace as I was able to clear my head. Inspiration came again and topics flooded my mind of things I could write about. 

One of the blessings of this early morning hike was the time it gave me time to just to think and pray. I sang hymns in my head, mediated on memorized Scripture verses and prayed for my upcoming projects. It was a time of rejuvenation and peace.

Where do you go when you need to clear your head and relax? Do you have your own favorite trail? Leave me a picture in the comments, I'd love to see it!

*Safety tips and reminders- Before you go hiking make sure you know where you're going and have emergency supplies on hand. When possible take someone with you and always make sure someone know where you go and what time you plan to be back. Be aware of the laws for camping, fires, parking etc. Make sure that you know of any wildlife in the area and know what to do in the unlikely case of a dangerous encounter.

Happy fall everyone!

 

Dedicated to the Lord

My grandpa tells this story from his days of ministry. This couple came to him and told him that their children had felt God calling them to become foreign missionaries. As a pastor Grandpa was excited for them. He talked about how excited they must be that their children were going to do something so wonderful such as dedicating their lives to telling others about Jesus. Then he sent them on their way. 

Some years later Grandpa's oldest daughter, my aunt, and her husband came to my Grandpa. They told him that God had called them to be missionaries in Austria. They were taking three of Grandpa's grandchildren and moving to the other side of the world. They were going to dedicate their lives to telling others about Jesus. 

Suddenly Grandpa's perspective changed. He realized how that couple must have felt all those years ago. 

Yes, his child becoming a missionary was a wonderful thing but it was hard on Grandpa. This was his child that was leaving. She may have been an adult but she was still his little girl and he would miss her. And he would miss his three grandchildren that were also moving. He wasn't going to get to watch them grow up. 

Then the Lord reminded Grandpa of something. I don't think Grandpa heard an audible voice but he still heard the Lord speak and say "You dedicated her to me."

That's the hard part. When my aunt was born Grandpa and Grandma dedicated her to the Lord. They promised they would raise her to love Him and teach her to serve Him. So when she came to them and say that she was doing just that who were they to argue?

That doesn't mean it didn't hurt though. They missed her when she left, and they still miss her over thirty years later but they're also incredibly proud of her. 

When you give your life to the Lord, or you give your children to the Lord, He doesn't tell you what path He'll take you down. You sign your name at the bottom of the page and He fills in the contract details later. It may be painful at times but it will always be worth it. God works all things together for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. After my aunt and uncle became missionaries their family grew- they have a daughter who was adopted, and they've had many blessings from their time there. They've also been able to lead others to Christ and bring many closer to Him. It may not have been Grandpa's chosen path for his oldest daughter but He's grateful for the road that God put her on.

In Loving Memory

It's interesting how different months have different causes attached to them. One month is the awareness month for Alzheimer's well another months is awareness for Autism, or child abuse or strokes, and so on. This isn't a criticism. Those causes are all serious and worthy of our attention and raising awareness and funds.  October is breast cancer awareness month. It's also Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness month.

When I was little my grandparents lived next door to us. We were on the same piece of property but different houses. I don't remember what age I was the first time that my grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer. I do remember that my aunt was diagnosed around the same time. Then, at least from the perspective of a child, it seemed to go away and life went back to normal. I think it was a couple of years later when grandma's cancer came back. I don't remember being overly worried about it at first, after all she'd beaten it before. I was scared, but I didn't really grasp the full implications of what this could mean. Unfortunately life wasn't that simple. The cancer was hard on her. And when she suffered a massive stroke it proved too much for her body to come back from. We had her with us for nine more months. I was eleven when she passed away.

A few years later another aunt got breast cancer. I was a teenager that time around and had a much better understanding of what it meant. I was terrified, and I remember times of literally being on my knees begging God to please spare her. And He did. She's been over ten years cancer free and I'm so grateful.

These loved ones are not the only ones that I've watched suffer with this awful disease. It's why this awareness cause means so much to me.

And then there's Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness. This one's much harder to write about because it's not my story. Or it is, but not in the way most people think of it. There's too many children to specify in this post. Most of them never had a name but I still carry their loss with me. 

One, the one that haunts me the most, is my nephew. Tayden. Tayden was born on May 6th, 2010. And that was the same day he died. He only lived for the briefest of moments. He was born premature and I can still remember the moment the phone rang that morning, telling my parents the news. I didn't want to get out of bed, I tried to go back to sleep because I knew from the part of the conversation I overheard that it was bad news. 

Tayden was my oldest nephew and I was so excited to meet him. My brother and sister-in-law, his parents, had previous miscarriages, so when they got past the first trimester I was overjoyed. I couldn't wait to finally be an aunt. And I was devastated when we lost him. To this day one of the things I look forward to most about heaven is getting to meet Tayden, and my other nieces and nephews for the first time.

There were other children too, some of my other siblings have had miscarriages that have broken my heart. My best friend lost a little one as well. Every time it's a devastating loss. Although I can't understand the pain that their parents have gone through I do carry a burden of pain as well. As those kiddo's aunt I miss them every day and I know that pain won't ever really leave until I'm reunited with them in heaven one day. I'm so grateful for the nieces and nephews that I have, living, but I'll always miss the ones that I never got to snuggle and spoil. 

That's why this cause is so dear to my heart. 

So this October say a prayer for those who are dealing with breast cancer or who have had a miscarriage or lost an infant. And if you're a family member then please understand that this is your pain too. You may not have been the one going through chemo or hearing the doctor's tragic confirmation but it's still a loss. And if you need someone to talk to or just to lend an ear then leave me a note in the comments of how I can reach out or send me an email. I'm happy to talk and pray with you anytime.

It's Here!

 Hey you guys! Guess what arrived in the mail Friday? 

It's been a long week with a lot of ups and downs. From making a mistake at work to getting a vote of confidence from my supervisor. Catching up with friends but learning about the loss of a beloved childhood pet. (To be clear it wasn't my childhood pet but my best friend's. She got this cat when we were little and at that time we practically lived at each other's homes so it was almost as much my cat as hers. Losing him was a hard blow even though I recognize he lived a very good, long life.) Having encouraging times with the Lord through worship on Sunday and devotions through out the week, yet still struggling with the same besetting sins that have haunted me for years. And then Friday night came along.

I went to visit my parents and grandparents after work. I stopped at my house first, knowing that my book was supposed to arrive and I was disappointed when it wasn't waiting on my front porch. Figuring it would show up later this weekend I headed out the door to go see my family. When I got there I had a package waiting. And guess what was inside! (No prizes for guessing right- you've had too many hints!) 

It's a surreal feeling, seeing my name in print, knowing that the words inside are the ones that I wrote. It's also incredibly humbling. The thought of people wanting to read, even paying money to read something that I wrote is such a strange feeling. Seeing my name on the cover is both a dream come true and one of the scariest things I've ever seen.

Tonight, opening that package with my parents and my grandparents was a really amazing experience. It's thrilling for me to see my name in print. It's even more amazing to see their excitement and joy as they looked at the book. Loved ones have an amazing ability. They can multiply your joy in ways you never imagined possible. 

On my own getting this book in the mail would've been exciting. Then I would've set it aside and moved on with my evening. Opening it with my parents and grandparents meant them telling me once again how proud of me they are. It meant signing their copies that had arrived and talking about who else they were going to order copies for. It meant sharing the joy.

The other thing it meant was remembering that I am who I am because of them. This book wasn't just written by me. It was written because the Lord put a story in my mind and gave me the ability to write it. It was finished because my dad spent hours going through the process of helping me plot it out. It was published because my mom spent hours making connections, doing the leg work and researching the steps to make it possible. And it will sell because my grandparents, and a lot of other loved ones, will tell everyone they know about this story until the word spreads.

This isn't just a book I wrote. It was a group effort and I'm so grateful that I got to celebrate this amazing moment with some of the people who made it possible.

However, you guys also made it possible. So thank you to all of you! I wouldn't be here without you.

Release Week-Yagos: The Marriage Contract

Hello friends! 

As a lot of you know this week, October 1st, was my official release day for my first book "Yagos: The Marriage Contract". It's been an amazing journey getting here and I'm so grateful for everyone's support along the way. 

Sometime last week I suddenly realized that releasing book #1 of Yagos means that book #2 should be releasing around July of next year. Now I know that may seem like a long time away to you but considering that it took me about two-three years to write book #1 and then months of work to publish it, July 2021 seems like a pretty tight deadline to me. However that did give me the urging I needed to put my nose to the grindstone. I'd already been working on book #2 of course but this last week I tried to really kick that into high gear. Needless to say there's tons of work to go but I think I have a start on it. More details to come in the future of course so stay posted!

In addition to my work there was some celebrating that needed to happen. This is my first ever book to be published so of course my friends and family have been super excited and supportive. I've loved hearing from so many people about how excited they are to read this story. The outpouring of love and support as people have told me that they've purchased this book and are looking forward to reading it has been incredibly humbling. 

If I'm honest it's those same people that have inspired my greatest moments of fear this week. When I write a book there's a huge piece of myself, almost like a piece of my soul, that goes into each story. Releasing that into the world is terrifying enough. Knowing that so many people are looking forward to reading this book brings out another fear, the fear of disappointing them. Of course I know that I can't please everyone but it still makes it hard to wonder if people will enjoy this book or hate it.

Thankfully my loved ones weren't about to let me just spend the week dwelling on my fear and trepidation. Release day- October 1st, I got home and my roommate/best friend surprised me with dinner and a girl's night. She knew I wouldn't want a big party but she still wanted to make sure I got the chance to celebrate. We enjoyed some delicious BBQ, my favorite dessert of brownies, and a movie to celebrate the day.

The next day my mom, who has put in such a tremendous amount of work to get us to the point of publication, joined me for a celebratory dinner. We got all dressed up and headed into town to the Chinese buffet. We had a lovely time discussing the reviews, the initial order reports, and reading comments on Facebook from friends and loved ones who have demonstrated their support and offered encouragement.

Finally, Saturday, one of my favorite times of celebrating this book release, came when my dad started texting me. Every time he noticed something in "Yagos: The Marriage Contract" that made him laugh, or made him think of me, or someone else in the family, he'd send a quick text with his observation. It was so much fun seeing the book from his perspective. 

So that's it. The release week of my first book! It's been an amazing journey getting here. My honest prayer for this book, and any future books to come, are that God will use them to bless others and bring them closer to Him. That's also my prayer for this blog. 

I hope and pray that your week has been blessed as mine. And if you haven't had a chance then please, check out "Yagos: The Marriage Contract" available on Amazon now!

Fires

Note: At the time this is posting many of the fires are now under control and our air has greatly improved. Lots of evacuations have been lifted and our situation has improved. Thank you for your prayers for continued safety!

Over the last several weeks there have been fires roaring across my beautiful state of Oregon, as well as traveling up and down the West Coast in Washington and California. I've spent countless conversations talking to people at work who have been evacuated and don't know when they can go back. Others have lost everything and I can hear the struggle as they try to be strong and work on slowly trying to figure out how to piece the details of their lives back together. I've talked to a few people who have spent terrified hours or days waiting to hear from family members. And I've spoken to brave men and women who are firefighters or family members of firefighters. They're dealing with their own brand of fear as they fight back the terror that has taken a hold of our state.

There's been so much loss recently. So many people who were just barely starting to get back to their feet have been beaten down again and again this year and these fires have threatened to take away the last bit of strength many communities have.

I don't know the specific numbers but probably thousands of people have been affected by these fires. It's a terrifying time. I, myself, have been affected by all the smoke and the poor air quality. I've spent time talking to friends who have been evacuated, praying for family who are on standby for evacuation and monitoring the fires to see if I'll be the next one leaving my home. 

Then there's the flip side of all this. Over the last month or so there's been an outpouring of love and generosity that has been sorely missing in recent months. There's been so many fundraisers popping up because of people leaving their homes, needing help getting access to basic things, needing shelters or a meal. There's been livestock that people have to evacuate but have place to keep them. 

People have risen to the occasion. I had someone tell me the other day that she saw several needs posted on Facebook over the course of several days but every time she went to offer assistance the need had already been met. Fairgrounds have opened up so that people can put their livestock there and stores have been donating feed and supplies for the animals. There was a restaurant here in my town that was asked to feed 400 people and they had just one day to raise the funds. They posted on Facebook to ask for help and people were so generous that they raised more then they'd been asking for! In one day!

Even at work I've had conversations with people around the country. When they find out that I'm in Oregon they ask me if I'm okay. They tell me they've been thinking of us or praying for us. I had countless people call in to deal with something and they take extra time just to ask if our staff is okay or encouraging us to stay safe. 

People may be suffering but it hasn't stopped them from reaching out. If anything it's made them that much more generous. 

Thank you friends, for supporting Oregon and remembering us in your prayers at this time. Thank you Lord, for using this time of trouble to bring us back together as a community and reminding us of what we have in common instead of what divides us.

What Kind of Sendoff?

Last week I went to a memorial service for an elderly man from the church where I grew up. He was a man who lived his life well and earned a good sendoff. He did a lot of things, influenced a lot of people. He and his wife were married for over 60 years and their kids and grand kids spoke of how much they miss him but I also know they're making extra efforts to be there for their mom/grandma. There was a huge show of love and affection at the service, not just from the family but their friends who gather to say good-bye. I saw men that I've known for years tear up as they talked about how much they were going to miss this man. He definitely made an impact on a lot of lives, mine included.

It got me thinking. My grandpa likes to say that you never know how good someone is until their funeral. You don't normally hear people spewing hateful words at a funeral. You hear them talking about the good things. There's a difference though, between people being sincere at the service, like the one I was at, or people just saying nice things because they know it's expected.

I've been to a lot of funerals. Some are really good, like the one I was just at. It's a time to celebrate the life someone led. A time to remember and say good-bye. It's sad but it's not devastating. When the deceased is a believer we're able to gather together knowing that we will see that person again. It doesn't stop us from grieving but it does make a difference.

Other funerals are devastating. When you're only left with questions and you have no idea if they ever made their peace with God it's a tragic thing. There's no way around that. There's an emptiness and no hope. 

And some people, even though they were a believer, don't seem to leave much behind. Those funerals bring a different kind of sadness. It's the sadness of knowing that someone had so much to give and they never did anything with that.

My prayer is that when it's my time to die that the Lord will greet me with the words from Matthew 25:21, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." At my funeral I hope that there are lots of people, talking about how I lived my life as a faithful servant of the Lord. I want people to discuss the difference I made in their lives, not because of anything I did but because I lived out my faith and made a point of praying for them. 

The only way for people to tell those stories is to live my life that way now. There's no guarantees so there's no way to know how long you have left before it's your funeral. If that day was tomorrow what would people say? What kind of sendoff would you get? If it's one you wouldn't like then start changing that now so when the time does come you can get the kind of sendoff you would hope for.

Perespective

Yesterday was nineteen years since the fateful day of 9/11 when terrorists attacked our country, when they flew planes into buildings and so many lost their lives. Even as I write this I can remember watching the news of the Twin Towers on fire, people jumping out of windows to escape the flames. I remember the first time I heard the voicemail of a man on one of the planes saying goodbye to his wife. I remember the anger, the fear, the outcry that must have reached all the way to heaven as our nation grieved. I remember seeing pictures and videos of the smoke that hung over New York City, and I remember how our firefighters and first responders rushed in. They tackled flights upon flights of stairs and worked tirelessly to get people out. So many heroes laid down their lives that day and we will never forget.

It's always a hard day as the memories come flooding back and my heart cries out for those who still have so much to grieve. I find myself praying for our country, even more then I normally do, on 9/11 each year. This year though my perspective was changed a bit. 

Here in Oregon we've had horrible wildfires, possibly some of the worst we've had in recent history. There's been smoke hanging in the air for the better part of the week. I've had friends and loved ones be evacuated or told to prepare to evacuate. I've spoken to people who have lost their homes and business. I've spoken to others who are just trying to leave the state rather then wait and see if their home will burn.

The other day I spoke to one woman who had a very interesting perspective on the smoke. She told me that she and her husband are historians and that her family is Polish. During World War 2 when Hitler was invading Europe she had family members who were caught in the destruction. She told me that when she looks at the smoke it reminds her of what it must have been like. And as scary as these fires are we have so much to be grateful for. We're not in a World War, and we still have firefighters and first responders who are laying their lives on the line to keep us safe.

As I pondered her words this week I looked at the calendar and started thinking about 9/11. I wasn't alive during World War 2 but I remember 9/11. And I have to agree with her. As terrifying as it has been with all of these fires, we have so much to be grateful for. Our firemen and first responders are once again rushing in to lay their lives on the lines. They are fighting back against the fires and working to keep us safe. And this time the thing they're fighting against isn't terrorists. It's nature.

As we remember 9/11 I would ask that you would keep our nation in prayer. As the West Coast continues to deal with these fires, please keep us in your prayers. As always please remember the words of Winston Churchill, "Evil triumphs when good men do nothing." and keep our leaders and our world in your prayers. Through it all keep your perspective and never forget.

Jungle Jams

 When I was a kid Mom had some cassette tapes that she would play for us in the car. We had "Adventures in Odyssey", "Patch the Pirate" and "Jungle Jams". There may have been others but those are the ones I remember. 

The other day someone's phone went off and the sound caught my attention. It was like I was transported back in time. For a second there, I was a little kid again, sitting in the green Ford Aerostar van listening to "Jungle Jams" with my mom. It was just the two of us. It normally was just her and I when we listened to "Jungle James", I'm the youngest and my siblings weren't big fans of that tape. It was made for kids my age so it was a little young for them. I loved it though. And for just that second I remembered all that joy and excitement as I listened to the animals in the jungle talk about the crisis they were in how to solve it.

I have no idea if we had more then one "Jungle Jams" story. I don't really remember the story line, but I believe that one of them taught the lesson of obedience. I do remember the time with my mom. And I remember that those tapes led me to ask questions and think about what life meant. It reinforced lessons I learned in Sunday school and from my parents.

And when I heard that music and I started thinking about "Jungle Jams" it made me think of some other things I learned as a kid. 

Proverbs 22:6

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

Jeremiah 31:33

"For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord; I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God and they shall be my people."

My parents trained me up and they made sure that I knew God's word. They used tapes like "Jungles Jams" and the others, they took me to church, they talked about what they were reading in their Bibles and they encouraged me to read my own. God wrote His words on my heart and to this day He is still my God, and I am still his daughter.

If you're a parent reading this don't neglect spending time with your little ones. Playing a CD or a movie for the thousandth time may set your teeth on edge but it may also be laying the groundwork for your kid's future walk of faith.

A Proverbs 31 Women

 Yesterday we hosted a bridal shower for one of my brest friend's who is also my roommate. A lot of hard work into it and the party was beautiful. People had fun and most importantly I think Kimberly was blessed by it. During the party we asked my mom to share a devotional. I liked what she said so much I asked her to type it up so I could share it on here too. Below are her thoughts. 

 

 

To the male readers:  This is written to women, but I believe there are definitely parts that apply to everyone.

 

Yesterday I spoke at a bridal shower; these are some of the thoughts I shared:

 

I started out by saying:  While preparing for this a meme crossed my path regarding a Biblical Woman (or wife):  It said:  You’re thinking Proverbs 31  ~  I’m thinking Judges 4 and 5
(If you don’t know what that’s referring to, I’ll wait while you grab your Bible and check.)

 

I promise, I’ll finish that at the end.

 

Proverbs 31:10-31 describes the “perfect” wife.   I want you to know that the perfect wife, I am NOT, even after 42 years of marriage.  Yet there are many aspects I want to live up to. Below are my comments, sometimes stated as a fact and sometimes as a question:

 

The first one is:  I have influence:  I can ruin kings – or my husband– and I have seen wives who have ruined their husbands – by tearing him down, with lack of encouragement, or by never (ever) believing in him.

 

Am I virtuous? Am I capable?  You Bet!  But only in my own areas. . .  

 

I am more precious than rubies!  To God and to those who love me.

 

Can my husband and others trust me?  Am I trustworthy?

 

Do I encourage the people in my life to bring out the good in them?

 

Am I the wind beneath my husband’s [roommates, best friend or siblings] wings?  Am I the woman behind the throne?  Encouraging him [her] as he/she does her job . . . whether it’s a public office (Proverbs says the City Gates) or something else.

 

Do I wear strength and dignity?

 

Do I speak wise words – It is my desire to!

 

TONGUE IN CHEEK:  Just so you know how perfect I am not:

 

  I have no clue how to spin (or even knit or crochet very well). . .

 

My food only comes as far away as the local grocery store

 

I only get up at dawn if dawn is after 7- 9 a.m.  – I will have you know I stay up late just fine though.

 

As far as preparing tasks for my servant girls . . .

I’m still waiting on the servants!

But:  Did I teach my children well?  The answer depends on your definition – one of my daughters is just now learning how to cook after being on her own for close to 15 years.

 

On a more serious note:

Am I KIND to others?  Do I treat those closest to me the way I treat strangers [Respectfully and with kindness} or do I walk all over them?

 

When she speaks her words are WISE:  My prayer is, “Please Lord give me wise words”.

 

Do I give instructions with KINDNESS?  Or do I bark like a drill sergeant?

 

She WATCHES over everything in her household:

She has her finger on the pulse of her home. . .How can you know what is going on in your home if you are not listening and talking with your husband ~ family ~ children?   PRACTICE NOW with those in your life!!!

 

THE BLESSING:  Her Children will stand and bless her – Her husband will praise her

 

The chapter ends with Charm is deceitful and beauty doesn’t last; BUT a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

 

If I tried to touch on every verse in the Bible on being a wife I would run out of time (and listeners or readers), so instead I want to add two reminders:

 

FORGIVENESS:  Proverbs 17:9 says Love prospers when a fault is forgiven.  We are commanded to forgive 70x7 times – that’s 490 times; by about the 300^th time you forget where you are with that fault and keep on keeping on.  Forgive – Forgive – Forgive!  Married or not this applies!

 

COMMUNICATION:  You will survive everything else when God is first, You FORGIVE (God commanded it) and you COMMUNICATE!

 

Not just talking ~~~ Not just listening  ~~~It’s an active participation

 

I started out saying You’re thinking Proverbs 31; I’m thinking Judges 4 -5:

Many think of a good wife as passive and subservient:  SHE ISN”T.

 

What I really mean is:  I want to be the kind of wife who is totally willing to drive a tent spike into a tyrant’s head should the need arise like Jael in Judges 4 or lead a nation like Deborah in Judges 4-5.  Or more realistically in my life:  hold the end of a 4x6; hand him the drill, or put the nail in the stud myself.

 

If you can’t handle me at my Judges 4 – 5, you don’t deserve me at my Proverbs 31.

 

Be the person God created you to BE!

 

Sins and Consequences

This last weekend at my Grandpa's cabin we had an amazing time. I went for walks with different family members, taking the time to catch up with everyone. One day my mom had a chipmunk run right next to her foot, only a inch or two away, not afraid of us at all! It was a little moment but it was pretty cool.

I had so much time with my family. I spent time with my siblings and cousins playing cards and talking into the night. Laughed at my nieces and nephew and my cousin's kid as they ran all over the property, in and out of the tree house and played by the hour on the swing set. We spent hours out on the lake, taking kids on canoe and paddleboat rides or going out ourselves, floating in innertubes and swimming around. I even learned how to kayak and paddleboard last weekend! 

I also had lots of interesting conversations. One of those conversations, with my aunt, got me thinking and I knew that it would be something I wanted to talk about on here. We were talking about sin. I said that saying something mean to someone isn't any worse then saying it in your head. I mean sin is sin right? So why does it matter if you say it in your head or directly to someone?

My aunt corrected me though. She said that the sin is the same but the consequences are different. And I'm partially right; to God sin is sin and one is not worse or better then another. However, when you say something mean in your head it stays between you and God. When you say something mean to another person you incur consequences that weren't there before. Now you haven't just sinned against God, you've hurt someone else. 

When you speak harshly to someone you will still need to repent and ask God's forgiveness. You'll also to need to repair the damage you've done with the other person. Think about it for a second. If you get in a fight with a friend and they yell at you, then there's a break in the relationship. You may forgive them but it takes some time for the hurt to recede so the damage can be repaired.

My aunt wasn't saying that you should make it a habit to talk badly about people in your head. She was saying to guard your tongue. 

Proverbs 21:23

"Those who guards their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity."

When we have a whole bunch of family together for a week we often lose sleep. And we're out in the sun a lot, quickly losing our energy. We're not always eating right so soon we're sleep deprived, hungry and exhausted. It's a recipe for quick tempers and sharp words. This is when we really need this reminder and what prompted our conversation.

Maybe you have time with family coming up. Or a difficult coworker who grates on your nerves. Whatever your situation I urge you to keep my aunt's wisdom in the forefront of your mind. It's better to never think or say things against people at all. But we're human and we're all going to mess up. Next time you do though take my aunt's and the Bible's advice and think before you speak. You'll save yourself, and the other person, a lot of pain in the end.

Favorite Place on Earth

 My favorite place in earth is probably my Grandpa's cabin. It's a beautiful property set in the foothills of the mountains and right on a lake. 

We take out boats, dive in for a swim, go on walks, push the kids in the swingset or just lounge on the porch or inside.
But my favorite part of the cabin is the people. My mom's family goes up every year. As a kid I looked forward to it for forever. We would all crowd onto the property. My siblings, cousins and I would play for hours. At night Grandpa would gather us all together for evening devotions.
As an adult it got harder to get up there. In fact this weekend I'm going for the first time in 3 years.
So... you don't really get a good post this week. Because I'm going to be spending time at my favorite place in the world with some of my favorite people doing some of my favorite things. Boating, swimming, walking and playing with the kids.
I will try to get a post up for next week but I appreciate your understanding as I take this weekend to chill and spend time with family.
Here's the challenge though, I told you about my favorite place. So where's yours? Leave me a comment and tell me about it!

Exciting News!

 Hello friends! Some of you will remember that I originally started this blog to talk about my writing. That plan derailed since there hasn't been much going on with it for the last several years. Every now and then I share a snippet of a manuscript but not much more. Today that has changed!

For the last couple of months there has been a lot of work going on in the background. And to give credit where credit is due I have to tell you who's been doing all that work. First, my dad, he's the one that way back when finally convinced me to consider publishing. He's also the one who brainstorms and bounces around ideas with me. And he has done a ton of background work to get us here. Second, my amazing mom has taken on the role of agent/assistant and a few other titles lately. She's been working behind the scenes, with my blessing, to make contacts, do research and move this project forward. She has been amazing and I would never be able to share this post without the effort she has put in.

And on that note I'm pleased to announce that we are now just a few months (maybe less) away from publishing my very first novel!!!

The manuscript is off to the editor's for the (hopefully) final time. The final cover art was just approved this morning. The dedication and author's notes have been added. The plot holes have been filled and we are getting super duper to close to setting a release date! I can't wait for all of you to get to read this story that so much love and effort has been poured into. Sadly that day isn't today. But I do want to share a little bit about the book with you all today.

Here's the book's description that will eventually show up on the back cover.

Her trip to visit relatives was supposed to help her family heal, instead it led to a secret marriage contract and no escape.

Still grieving from her mother's recent death Karrine Sandor takes her little sister on a trip to Yagos, the country where they were born. Once there she learns about a secret marriage contract that states she will have to marry a stranger or lose guardianship of her sister.

Steffan Dalton has always known he would marry Karrine one day. He'd never imagined that she wasn't aware of their marriage contract too. Now he finds himself with a fiancée who wants nothing to do with him and a difficult teenage charge. 

 

Can these two strangers ever have any chance of a happy marriage? Or will their differences tear them apart? Will God work a miracle or will their own stubbornness keep them from discovering His best plan for their lives?

 

And finally here's the beautiful cover art designed. Original artwork by Rosario Tamayo-Garcia.

Friends, all of you who have been following this blog have been such an amazing support system. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you all going on this journey with me! I really hope that you're as excited as this "coming soon publication" as I am! Leave me a note in the comments and tell me what you think!

Peace for the Moment

First I have to say I'm sorry. I completely missed getting a post up last week. I had good intentions but we all know where those can lead and next thing I know it's the beginning of the work week and I hadn't written a word. Actually I had written words, quite a few of them, but those were done in the process of editing one of my manuscripts and not in writing a blog post. More to come on that subject in upcoming weeks so stay tuned!

Recently my doctor told me that people don't like coming to her because they thought they were healthy until they came in for a visit and found out all the things that were wrong with them. Ignorance really can be bliss. This week I had similar feelings about my schedule. I didn't realize how busy I'd become until I got a new planner and started writing things down. Suddenly it makes a lot more sense why I'm tired at the end of the day! Writing things down on a schedule is a double edged sword for me. It helps give me a sense of what I've got coming up so I can deal with things, but if I let it, it will overwhelm me with trying to deal with everything that's coming up instead of breaking it down to one day at a time.

The last few weeks have been a combination of busyness for good reasons, stress for bad reasons and a whole lot of chaos that leads me to say "I don't how I got here, I'm not sure where 'here' even is and I really don't know where to go from here or where to even start!" It's in those moments that I start to get overwhelmed. 

So what are you supposed to do?

This week I got some great advice. It's advice I've heard before but I really needed the reminder. My friend told me to take life moment by moment. And in each moment that you're feeling overwhelmed ask for God's peace. If you're overwhelmed in another five minutes, ask for it again. And keep going that way until you make it through the day.

See friends, when life is hectic I tend to want to pray once and have God give me enough peace for the whole day. Sometimes He does. Often He doesn't. He lets my circumstances be a reminder that I can't do this on my own. I need His help. Every day, every moment, in every situation.

Right now when my life is so busy I need to remember that more then ever. Because it's only with His constant gift of peace that I'm going to make it through the chaos and make it to the end of each day.

A Heavy Burden

Today I went for a walk and I saw an elderly couple on the walking path. They were probably in their eighties. The man was grinning, it was an expression like you would see on a young boy in a candy store, and it made me smile too. I looked a little closer to see what he was so happy about. In his hand he was holding two rocks and as I watched he threw one into the pond. He leaned over the railing to see where it went. I laughed, think he seemed to take a childish amount of glee in his little game. I thought to myself how wonderful that was, and how we should find joy in the little moments.

I noticed that the woman with him, I presume his wife, wasn't smiling. She just stood there, kind of ignoring his actions but obviously waiting for him. I didn't think too much of this in the moment. The moment of watching them stayed with me throughout the day though and as I continued to think about it a thought, or maybe a theory, occurred to me.

See, there's another reason that sometimes the elderly will act that way. A reason why they'll find childish glee in a simple moments. Sadly this reason is not only because they find joy in their lives. It's a much darker reason and it has several names. Alzheimer's Disease. Dementia. Memory care patients. And I'm sure there's more.

I have been blessed and burdened with having loved ones who have suffered from these diseases. Blessed because it has given me a love and compassion for those dealing with this. Burdened because it's a terrible thing to watch. These diseases can manifest in so many ways. Sometimes people will have mood swings. Sometimes these adults start to act like children all over again. Sometimes they get angry. Sometimes it's even like they become a different person altogether. It can change from day to day.

The families and loved ones of these people have a heavy burden to bear. As they watch the person they've always known slowly slip away and no matter how the loved ones try they can't bring them back. Every person is different but it's not uncommon for those who suffer this way to stop recognizing even those closest to them. For example my granddad had Alzheimer's and there were many days he didn't recognize his wife, he thought his son and daughter-in-law were different people. He didn't remember having grand kids even though we lived next door.

Memory care patients can decline quickly or slowly. And honestly, it's incredibly difficult either way. I have no idea what this couple's story was. Maybe the man really was just enjoying throwing rocks in the pond, and maybe his wife was just tired of his game. I don't know. What I do know is there are thousands of people affected by these kind of diseases and it got me thinking.

Whether you know someone now or you meet someone who is a caregiver for a memory care patient, either at a facility or privately, take the time to tell them thank you. Chances are they don't hear it often enough. Take the time to pray for them. They could use it. If you're in such a position to offer help to them, do it, they might need it. If they turn you down, fine, but you can offer. 

If you are someone who is caring for a memory care patient, thank you. What you do is incredibly difficult, I've watched my own parents go through it. Two of my best friends are caretakers. It's an incredibly difficult job. I'm praying for you. If you ever need someone to talk to please reach out, my (virtual) door is open.

If you are a loved one of a memory care patient, whether you are caring for them or not, please know that my heart goes out to you. I know the pain of going to visit and not having them recognize you. I know the burden of watching your loved one slip away. I am all too familiar with the struggle of trying to accept this new reality but wanting desperately to change it. You are not alone. My prayers are with you.

Lastly if you are a memory care patient please know how loved you are. You are not forgotten and you are not alone. Your life still has incredible value and those who love you still need you. Please don't underestimate how much people care for you.

Most importantly the Lord has not abandoned you. Any of you, caretakers, patients, loved ones. Cry out to Him, He understands and He can take anything you throw at Him; the anger, the hurt, the confusion the hope rising only to be dashed and the fear of the future. He can shoulder it all. 

And finally I want you all to know there are support groups out there for people who are dealing with these things. There are organizations who can help offer support and respite. The burden you are carrying is heavy but I pray that you will allow others to help shoulder it. My prayers are with you my friends. May God bless you all.

A Tale of Two Pastors

My introduction to this blog is that I was put up to this by my grandfather. Pastor Russ Wayland suggested that I write this. I agreed but I did tell him that I was going to blame him for what I'm about to say. I'm complicit but he's the master mind. This post is dedicated to the pastor I grew up under, Pastor Bob.

There once was a man who was very respected in his community. He was a very smart man, a pastor and a doctor. Not a medical doctor mind you but a doctor nonetheless. He had worked tirelessly to earn his doctorate degree. He was an esteemed scholar and a leader. He had even written a Biblical commentary. He could read both Greek and Hebrew and had studied the ancient texts for many years.

Sadly there is such a thing as being so intelligent that you can lose some common sense. And that must have been the case with this man. For as many good traits as he had there was one glaring deficiency in his life. He wouldn't drink coffee.

I know it's shocking. I'll give you a moment to deal with your horror.

...

This man drank tea. All sorts of teas. He was a bit particular and there were some teas he didn't like but he wouldn't touch coffee. And in fact it was worse then that because he didn't acknowledge the problem with not drinking coffee. He thought this was a good thing! In fact he actively tried to get others to drink tea!

When he met with people he couldn't offer them a good cup of coffee. He called coffee mugs, tea mugs. He wouldn't even touch coffee ice cream which is practically elixir as you well know! The real horror came when he wouldn't have coffee served in his church. If you wanted coffee on Sunday morning you had to bring your own.

One day another pastor, this one retired after many years of service, joined the congregation. He immediately realized the tragedy of not serving the wonderful life-blood of coffee and he started a campaign to solve this problem. 

It was a hard fought battle but after many years the wiser pastor won the righteous battle and coffee began to be served on Sunday mornings. The wise pastor's son-in-law embarked on a journey to find just the right blend to serve the long deprived congregation.

And so life continued with the younger pastor still not seeing the error of his ways but at least partially redeeming himself by no longer depriving his parishioners. And the wise, older pastor continued to seek to counsel him in hopes that some day he would be fully redeemed and join the rest of us in drinking the wonderful God-given gift of coffee. For after all it's even mentioned in the Bible- He-brews.