My Story

Well I said I was going to tell you my story so here it is friends!

I was raised in a Christian home by wonderful Christian parents who taught me the Bible and lived out their faith. I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior when I was very young. As I grew up I was like a lot of Christian kids, I went to church every Sunday, attended Sunday school, went through AWANA and moved on to youth group when I was old enough. At church I learned more about Jesus Christ but with my friends I wanted to fit in so I ignored my faith and tried to "be cool". Like a lot of teenage girls I craved attention and I didn't realize that the only way I would get the love and attention I wanted was through a personal relationship with Christ.

At some point I stopped eating very much, it started out as nothing really, just didn't feel like eating in front of people but then I discovered that not eating got me attention. People worried about me, my friends tried to get me to eat or checked in on me but like most eating disorders it went from being a simple attention getting thing and moved into an addiction or a habit. I started lying to people, telling friends that I'd eaten at home, telling family I'd eaten at school. I ate some places but not others but by the grace of God my problem didn't get nearly out of control as it could've, He intervened first.

Hypoglycemia is a fancy word for when your blood sugar crashes too often. It runs in my family and I wasn't immune. When my blood sugar kept crashing and I started getting dizzy, even blacking out sometimes it wasn't long before my friends and family started noticing that something wasn't right. They became much more aware of making sure I was eating, taking care of me but even though I became physically better I wasn't dealing with the real issue, the issue of my heart.

At seventeen I went to a conference called "Acquire the Fire" with my youth group. As the speaker was talking about forgiveness I got angry. When my friend sitting next to me stood up to go to the floor and pray that God would help him forgive I stood to, to walk out. I was so angry, later I realized the person I was really angry with was myself, and God, I blamed the people closest to me for my problems. Instead of walking out of the conference I ended up on the back steps crying harder then I ever have before. That's when I met Corina.

Corina and Ivan were youth leaders from a different church but when Corina saw me crying she sat down next to me. She followed the Holy Spirit's prompting and waited out my tears to comfort me. She asked me if I was a Christian and right at that moment I said "I don't know." The more we talked the more I poured my heart out and eventually we got to the root of the issue. Love. I asked Corina "Why would God love me?" The way I saw it I'd never done anything that would make God want to love me. Corina pointed to the bottom of the steps where her husband was sitting with their small son. She pointed to the little boy and said "That's my son and no matter what he does in his life I will always love him. If that's the way I feel about my son imagine how God feels about you. You're His child!"

That's the most important lesson I've ever learned, God doesn't love me or you because of what you do, because of what you can do or have done. He doesn't love us because He has to but because He wants to. He created us, we are His children and He loves us as His children. End of story.

That day, April 4th, 2009 I gave my life back to Christ and chose to become more then just a Christian in name only. I became of disciple of Christ, committing to give Him my life and follow Him.

It hasn't always been easy, that's for sure. There's up and downs but I recognize that Jesus Christ loves me and nothing I ever do will change that. But because I love Him in return I choose to live my life to bring glory and honor to His name.