Saturday Morning Adventure

  Friday afternoon as I was leaving work I was thinking about everything that I needed to do this weekend. My mind was on errands that I needed to run, paperwork that was waiting, bills needing paid. I had cleaning to do, food that needed cooked or used up, scenes needing written, emails to answer and people to see. As I said goodbye to my boss she told me to do something fun this weekend. For a minute I just looked at her, trying to come up with what fun thing I could do. She even offered me some suggestions but I wasn't sure how to fit those in with my planned schedule.

When I got home I decided to start on my fun project" before diving into work. My at home pedicure and facial that followed definitely helped me relax but there was still a lot of work waiting. First on the list was a blog for the week. When I sat down to write this post I discovered that I had no inspiration. None. I had a list of topics I could write about but the words wouldn't flow. 

 A new tactic was needed. So I set an alarm for early Saturday morning. Armed with a cup of coffee, a light breakfast, warm clothes and some hiking boots I set off for my adventure.

I knew exactly where I was headed. This trail is one of my favorite places on earth. Not far from where I grew up I've hiked it countless times but it never ceases to bring me joy an amazement as I wonder at God's beautiful creation.

As I walked and studied the turning leaves, the river's currents and the cool fall air I reveled in the peace as I was able to clear my head. Inspiration came again and topics flooded my mind of things I could write about. 

One of the blessings of this early morning hike was the time it gave me time to just to think and pray. I sang hymns in my head, mediated on memorized Scripture verses and prayed for my upcoming projects. It was a time of rejuvenation and peace.

Where do you go when you need to clear your head and relax? Do you have your own favorite trail? Leave me a picture in the comments, I'd love to see it!

*Safety tips and reminders- Before you go hiking make sure you know where you're going and have emergency supplies on hand. When possible take someone with you and always make sure someone know where you go and what time you plan to be back. Be aware of the laws for camping, fires, parking etc. Make sure that you know of any wildlife in the area and know what to do in the unlikely case of a dangerous encounter.

Happy fall everyone!

 

Dedicated to the Lord

My grandpa tells this story from his days of ministry. This couple came to him and told him that their children had felt God calling them to become foreign missionaries. As a pastor Grandpa was excited for them. He talked about how excited they must be that their children were going to do something so wonderful such as dedicating their lives to telling others about Jesus. Then he sent them on their way. 

Some years later Grandpa's oldest daughter, my aunt, and her husband came to my Grandpa. They told him that God had called them to be missionaries in Austria. They were taking three of Grandpa's grandchildren and moving to the other side of the world. They were going to dedicate their lives to telling others about Jesus. 

Suddenly Grandpa's perspective changed. He realized how that couple must have felt all those years ago. 

Yes, his child becoming a missionary was a wonderful thing but it was hard on Grandpa. This was his child that was leaving. She may have been an adult but she was still his little girl and he would miss her. And he would miss his three grandchildren that were also moving. He wasn't going to get to watch them grow up. 

Then the Lord reminded Grandpa of something. I don't think Grandpa heard an audible voice but he still heard the Lord speak and say "You dedicated her to me."

That's the hard part. When my aunt was born Grandpa and Grandma dedicated her to the Lord. They promised they would raise her to love Him and teach her to serve Him. So when she came to them and say that she was doing just that who were they to argue?

That doesn't mean it didn't hurt though. They missed her when she left, and they still miss her over thirty years later but they're also incredibly proud of her. 

When you give your life to the Lord, or you give your children to the Lord, He doesn't tell you what path He'll take you down. You sign your name at the bottom of the page and He fills in the contract details later. It may be painful at times but it will always be worth it. God works all things together for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. After my aunt and uncle became missionaries their family grew- they have a daughter who was adopted, and they've had many blessings from their time there. They've also been able to lead others to Christ and bring many closer to Him. It may not have been Grandpa's chosen path for his oldest daughter but He's grateful for the road that God put her on.

In Loving Memory

It's interesting how different months have different causes attached to them. One month is the awareness month for Alzheimer's well another months is awareness for Autism, or child abuse or strokes, and so on. This isn't a criticism. Those causes are all serious and worthy of our attention and raising awareness and funds.  October is breast cancer awareness month. It's also Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness month.

When I was little my grandparents lived next door to us. We were on the same piece of property but different houses. I don't remember what age I was the first time that my grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer. I do remember that my aunt was diagnosed around the same time. Then, at least from the perspective of a child, it seemed to go away and life went back to normal. I think it was a couple of years later when grandma's cancer came back. I don't remember being overly worried about it at first, after all she'd beaten it before. I was scared, but I didn't really grasp the full implications of what this could mean. Unfortunately life wasn't that simple. The cancer was hard on her. And when she suffered a massive stroke it proved too much for her body to come back from. We had her with us for nine more months. I was eleven when she passed away.

A few years later another aunt got breast cancer. I was a teenager that time around and had a much better understanding of what it meant. I was terrified, and I remember times of literally being on my knees begging God to please spare her. And He did. She's been over ten years cancer free and I'm so grateful.

These loved ones are not the only ones that I've watched suffer with this awful disease. It's why this awareness cause means so much to me.

And then there's Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness. This one's much harder to write about because it's not my story. Or it is, but not in the way most people think of it. There's too many children to specify in this post. Most of them never had a name but I still carry their loss with me. 

One, the one that haunts me the most, is my nephew. Tayden. Tayden was born on May 6th, 2010. And that was the same day he died. He only lived for the briefest of moments. He was born premature and I can still remember the moment the phone rang that morning, telling my parents the news. I didn't want to get out of bed, I tried to go back to sleep because I knew from the part of the conversation I overheard that it was bad news. 

Tayden was my oldest nephew and I was so excited to meet him. My brother and sister-in-law, his parents, had previous miscarriages, so when they got past the first trimester I was overjoyed. I couldn't wait to finally be an aunt. And I was devastated when we lost him. To this day one of the things I look forward to most about heaven is getting to meet Tayden, and my other nieces and nephews for the first time.

There were other children too, some of my other siblings have had miscarriages that have broken my heart. My best friend lost a little one as well. Every time it's a devastating loss. Although I can't understand the pain that their parents have gone through I do carry a burden of pain as well. As those kiddo's aunt I miss them every day and I know that pain won't ever really leave until I'm reunited with them in heaven one day. I'm so grateful for the nieces and nephews that I have, living, but I'll always miss the ones that I never got to snuggle and spoil. 

That's why this cause is so dear to my heart. 

So this October say a prayer for those who are dealing with breast cancer or who have had a miscarriage or lost an infant. And if you're a family member then please understand that this is your pain too. You may not have been the one going through chemo or hearing the doctor's tragic confirmation but it's still a loss. And if you need someone to talk to or just to lend an ear then leave me a note in the comments of how I can reach out or send me an email. I'm happy to talk and pray with you anytime.

It's Here!

 Hey you guys! Guess what arrived in the mail Friday? 

It's been a long week with a lot of ups and downs. From making a mistake at work to getting a vote of confidence from my supervisor. Catching up with friends but learning about the loss of a beloved childhood pet. (To be clear it wasn't my childhood pet but my best friend's. She got this cat when we were little and at that time we practically lived at each other's homes so it was almost as much my cat as hers. Losing him was a hard blow even though I recognize he lived a very good, long life.) Having encouraging times with the Lord through worship on Sunday and devotions through out the week, yet still struggling with the same besetting sins that have haunted me for years. And then Friday night came along.

I went to visit my parents and grandparents after work. I stopped at my house first, knowing that my book was supposed to arrive and I was disappointed when it wasn't waiting on my front porch. Figuring it would show up later this weekend I headed out the door to go see my family. When I got there I had a package waiting. And guess what was inside! (No prizes for guessing right- you've had too many hints!) 

It's a surreal feeling, seeing my name in print, knowing that the words inside are the ones that I wrote. It's also incredibly humbling. The thought of people wanting to read, even paying money to read something that I wrote is such a strange feeling. Seeing my name on the cover is both a dream come true and one of the scariest things I've ever seen.

Tonight, opening that package with my parents and my grandparents was a really amazing experience. It's thrilling for me to see my name in print. It's even more amazing to see their excitement and joy as they looked at the book. Loved ones have an amazing ability. They can multiply your joy in ways you never imagined possible. 

On my own getting this book in the mail would've been exciting. Then I would've set it aside and moved on with my evening. Opening it with my parents and grandparents meant them telling me once again how proud of me they are. It meant signing their copies that had arrived and talking about who else they were going to order copies for. It meant sharing the joy.

The other thing it meant was remembering that I am who I am because of them. This book wasn't just written by me. It was written because the Lord put a story in my mind and gave me the ability to write it. It was finished because my dad spent hours going through the process of helping me plot it out. It was published because my mom spent hours making connections, doing the leg work and researching the steps to make it possible. And it will sell because my grandparents, and a lot of other loved ones, will tell everyone they know about this story until the word spreads.

This isn't just a book I wrote. It was a group effort and I'm so grateful that I got to celebrate this amazing moment with some of the people who made it possible.

However, you guys also made it possible. So thank you to all of you! I wouldn't be here without you.

Release Week-Yagos: The Marriage Contract

Hello friends! 

As a lot of you know this week, October 1st, was my official release day for my first book "Yagos: The Marriage Contract". It's been an amazing journey getting here and I'm so grateful for everyone's support along the way. 

Sometime last week I suddenly realized that releasing book #1 of Yagos means that book #2 should be releasing around July of next year. Now I know that may seem like a long time away to you but considering that it took me about two-three years to write book #1 and then months of work to publish it, July 2021 seems like a pretty tight deadline to me. However that did give me the urging I needed to put my nose to the grindstone. I'd already been working on book #2 of course but this last week I tried to really kick that into high gear. Needless to say there's tons of work to go but I think I have a start on it. More details to come in the future of course so stay posted!

In addition to my work there was some celebrating that needed to happen. This is my first ever book to be published so of course my friends and family have been super excited and supportive. I've loved hearing from so many people about how excited they are to read this story. The outpouring of love and support as people have told me that they've purchased this book and are looking forward to reading it has been incredibly humbling. 

If I'm honest it's those same people that have inspired my greatest moments of fear this week. When I write a book there's a huge piece of myself, almost like a piece of my soul, that goes into each story. Releasing that into the world is terrifying enough. Knowing that so many people are looking forward to reading this book brings out another fear, the fear of disappointing them. Of course I know that I can't please everyone but it still makes it hard to wonder if people will enjoy this book or hate it.

Thankfully my loved ones weren't about to let me just spend the week dwelling on my fear and trepidation. Release day- October 1st, I got home and my roommate/best friend surprised me with dinner and a girl's night. She knew I wouldn't want a big party but she still wanted to make sure I got the chance to celebrate. We enjoyed some delicious BBQ, my favorite dessert of brownies, and a movie to celebrate the day.

The next day my mom, who has put in such a tremendous amount of work to get us to the point of publication, joined me for a celebratory dinner. We got all dressed up and headed into town to the Chinese buffet. We had a lovely time discussing the reviews, the initial order reports, and reading comments on Facebook from friends and loved ones who have demonstrated their support and offered encouragement.

Finally, Saturday, one of my favorite times of celebrating this book release, came when my dad started texting me. Every time he noticed something in "Yagos: The Marriage Contract" that made him laugh, or made him think of me, or someone else in the family, he'd send a quick text with his observation. It was so much fun seeing the book from his perspective. 

So that's it. The release week of my first book! It's been an amazing journey getting here. My honest prayer for this book, and any future books to come, are that God will use them to bless others and bring them closer to Him. That's also my prayer for this blog. 

I hope and pray that your week has been blessed as mine. And if you haven't had a chance then please, check out "Yagos: The Marriage Contract" available on Amazon now!