Chapter 4
June 4th, 2233
“Perfect shot, I’m shocked,” Adam remarked dryly as he
retrieved his sister’s arrow from the target set up sixty yards away and walked
back towards her. “You ready for tonight?” Their team was scheduled to head out
from Paradise later that night on a scouting mission. Normally Adam would’ve
left his sister alone so they could both get ready but something was
wrong. He had been sparring with Matt
when Kyle had come to find him looking almost desperately relieved when he
finally spotted Adam.
“Adam you have to go
check on Amy, something’s wrong.” Without another word the three of them
had taken off towards the weapons range, Matt and Kyle were waiting just out of
sight wondering what had happened.
She didn’t reply, didn’t even glance at him which just
served to make the twenty-one year old even more worried. To have his sister
upset any day would’ve concerned him, she didn’t let her emotions show through
very often, for Kyle to look that worried… Adam knew ‘upset’ was an
understatement.
“Amy, what’s going on?” Adam asked quietly as he handed her
the arrow back, she didn’t reply but notched another arrow. He stepped back
letting her take the shot, expecting her to turn back, when she reached for
another arrow he rocked back on his heels crossing his arms over his chest. “I
can wait as long as you can Amy Faith, probably longer.” She glanced over at
him, her eyes narrowing into a glare but he just smiled. She took another shot
before turning back to shoot him a dark look.
“I’m fine, I’ll be ready for tonight, and you don’t have to
worry about me. Tell Kyle and Matt they don’t have to either.” She turned back
angrily, stalking over to retrieve her arrows but Adam stopped her as he
blocked her way.
“You know better than to even think that’s why we’re here.”
He said the words quietly but the hurt that she heard in his voice was almost
too much, she couldn’t look at him but he saw her nod, conceding the point.
“I know,” she whispered so quietly he almost didn’t hear
her.
“Then what’s wrong Aim? You scared Kyle so bad I thought you
forgot to duck when you were working with Sarah.” The joke had its intended
effect, she smiled but her eyes were still sad. He wrapped his arms around her
resting his chin on the top of her inky black head of hair, “What’s going on
sis?” She leaned back a bit and he stared into her eyes that were a mirror of
his own, then blinked at the sadness he saw there. He wanted so badly to
understand, to be able to help her, but she just shook her head.
“I can’t explain it to you Adam, not right now.” She took a
step back shoving loose hair out of her face. He said nothing only looked back
at her, silently accepting that she’d have to be okay. He nodded once then
walked away without another word. Glancing back he saw shoulders trembling as
if she were trying not to cry as she retrieved her arrows. Putting them in the
quiver she started for the river, wiping her eyes as she went.
“Did you find out what’s wrong? Is she okay?” Matt asked as
soon as Adam walked up, his friend only shook his head silently, his expression
showing that he was miles away.
“Adam,” Kyle said his name quietly, but it was enough, “is
Amy all right?” he asked, concern written all over his face.
“I don’t know,” he answered honestly, still trying to
process what had happened with his sister. “I don’t know, but I hope so.” He
clapped his friend on the back, walking away with his head down, the wind
blowing his hair in his eyes but he didn’t notice.
‘Lord,’ Adam
prayed as he walked, his heart breaking as he thought of the look on his
sister’s face, the pain that he had no idea how to heal. ‘She’s my baby sister I’m supposed to be able to help her, but how do I
do that if she won’t talk to me?” He wasn’t paying attention to where he
was going, just walking in the general direction of camp. He couldn’t shake the
sensation that he was missing something, ‘God,
I could really use some help here. Please, what am I missing?’ he continued
to pray, finally stopping his walk so he could lean against a tree, still
convinced he was missing something important.
“Adam, hey I’ve been looking for you,” Kelley cut off
suddenly as she walked up to find him with his head back and eyes closed. When
he didn’t look up, she tried again, “Adam, are you all right?” He glanced up
trying to focus on his friend standing in front of him.
“Sorry Kelley, what did you need?” She looked at him taking
in the worried expression, and the way he rubbed a hand over his eyes.
“Nothing, don’t worry about it,” she turned to walk away.
“Kelley,” she stopped turning to face him, her blonde hair
falling from her shoulder as she turned to face him, her blue eyes
expressionless. “I’m sorry,” he straightened, crossing the few steps to meet
her as he struggled to push his sister to the back of his mind, “what did you
need?”
*
‘Father, I could
really use some help here.” Amy sat down on the river bank, slipping her
shoes off so she could dip her feet in the cool water. ‘I know I’m overreacting, so why does it hurt so much?’ At the sound of footsteps coming her way
she slipped her shoes back on, sliding back to lean against the weeping willow
letting the willows branches hide her as she drew her knees up against her
chest letting her head fall forward as the tears slid silently down her cheeks.
‘She was my friend, is it so wrong to
want someone to remember her?’
*
When Amy met up with her brother, Kyle, and Matt that night
to head out for their scouting mission, no one would have suspected that she
had been sobbing uncontrollably under the willow tree just a few hours before.
On the outside she looked just like her normal self, unless someone knew her
well enough to see the telltale signs and looked a little bit closer. The three
men standing in front of her all knew exactly what to look for. They noticed
the smile that wasn’t quite sincere, the eyes that wouldn’t quite meet theirs,
and the hands gripping the backpack so tightly that her knuckles were white.
They set out, all quieter than normal, Amy was caught up in
her own thoughts even as she struggled to shove her emotions away and focus on
the mission. Adam was still worried about his sister, but like her, he
understood there was a job to do, he pushed away all thoughts except for the
mission. Matt was struggling to keep his mind on the present, even as he
glanced at the twins, trying to decipher the problem. Kyle, by far the quietest
of the group, was even quieter now; he was worried, not just about Amy, but the
whole team. Scouting missions were dangerous enough but a mission when none of
them were completely focused? That was just plain stupid.
It was for this reason, that after only an hour, he signaled
them off towards one of the many safe caves that the camp had set up all over
the woods. After a routine search, Adam gave him a curious look.
“What are we doing here Kyle; we haven’t been out long
enough to stop.” He said the words lightly, but inside he was wound as tight as
a spring.
Kyle took a deep breath, they had never really established a
leader but they were all careful not to criticize each other’s actions. They
had been trained for years in weaponry and tactics but they also knew how to
avoid situations that could tear their team apart. What he was about to say
could take things in many different directions, there was no way to predict all
the risks, it could either tear them apart or make them stronger, it was a risk
he’d have to take.
“Scouting missions are hard enough on a normal day, but
today when none of us are really completely focused on what we’re doing...” He
let the sentence hang for a minute, looking at each of them in the flickering light
of the fire, before continuing, “It’s not worth the risk guys.” For a moment he
didn’t think they were going to reply, but it was Amy who spoke up.
“He’s right,” she finally said, glancing up. “None of us is
focused and I know that’s mostly my fault. Why don’t we get some sleep, we’ll
take shifts and talk in the morning. Either we’ll work this out or we’ll head
back to camp and ask The Council to send out a different team this time. We’ve
always done our job before; they won’t hold this against us.” She wasn’t sure
that the last part was true but at the moment she didn’t care. Without waiting
for them to reply she picked up her bow and quiver and walked outside to take
the first watch.
Adam considered following her, but he knew his sister well
enough to recognize that it would only make things worse, she wasn’t in the
mood to talk to him and they’d probably just end up fighting. Instead he rolled
out his blankets in a corner of the cave, settling down until it was his turn
for watch.
He didn’t know how long he slept, what he did know was that
one moment he was lying in a dark cave in a dreamless sleep, and the next
sitting straight up, wide awake, knowing what was wrong with his sister. Conscious of his friends who were still
asleep he slipped quietly out of the cavern careful to avoid stepping on them.
When he got to the entrance he took a second to gain his bearings making sure
to whistle a warning to Amy that he was coming up. She replied in kind and he
went up to her vantage point.
“You should be asleep Adam, you’ll need it and it’s not your
shift yet,” Amy told him without bothering to turn around when she heard him
approach.
“I was until I realized what the date was,” he said it
quietly, but it was enough, Amy turned to look back at him shocked speechless.
“What did you say?” she asked, in the dark he couldn’t see
her face clearly but he heard the shock and hurt in her voice. He moved to sit
beside her, his heart breaking at the pain she must have felt all day feeling
like no one understood.
“I’m sorry that I forgot what today was, I didn’t even
realize that it was three years ago today. I’m so sorry,” he didn’t know what
else to say. How could you apologize to your sister for forgetting the
anniversary of her best friend, your girlfriend’s, death?
“Adam,” she paused fighting tears, hurt and anger. “She was
your girlfriend, I didn’t really expect Mom and Dad to remember or really
anyone except for maybe Chase and he’s not even here.” She paused choking back
a sob; Chase hadn’t been around for a very long time. “You though, Adam, we
were with them that day! All four of us were there. We were there when it
happened, she died in my arms,” she tried to go on but broke down in tears.
Adam held her close, wishing that Kyle or Matt was with them so they could take
up the guard duty and he could take care of his sister. “Adam, maybe it’s
ridiculous but you were right there, helping Chase, trying to stop the bleeding.”
She leaned back looking up at him struggling to see his expression in the dark.
“I just wanted someone else to remember, someone besides me, is that so wrong?”
“No Aim, not at all. You need to understand something
though.” He pulled one arm free and pushed the hair out of her eyes, “I will
never forget Lindsey, you have to know that, but she’s gone Aim. Two years ago
I was reliving it every day, every month I would be fighting to keep my mind on
what was going on, but I was so distracted. It started to get better but I
would still catch myself thinking about her constantly. After the two year
anniversary I realized that Linds wouldn’t have wanted me to live my life like
that, so I decided that I’d work on letting go. That doesn’t mean I’ll ever forget,
Amy. You know as well as I do that’d be impossible, but it does mean that I
don’t stay focused on the past. I’m sorry I forgot what today was but it
doesn’t mean I forgot her.”
Amy leaned her head against his chest struggling not to cry
as she thought about that day three years before. What was supposed to be a
wonderfully happy day, their high school graduation, had turned tragic when a
fellow student had gotten drunk and started a fight at the party that night. It
had quickly turned into chaos and many people had gotten hurt, Amy could still
hear the cries and screams, her own voice yelling at her friend not to leave
her, to keep fighting even as the gash on her own leg made it impossible to
pull either of them to safety. She could
hear Adam screaming at her, telling her to get out of there while he fought to
keep Chase alive, she saw Lindsey struggling for her next breath, her hand
gripping Amy’s arm and then it went slack. Amy knew she was gone, but she
couldn’t accept it, she kept pressure on the wound, screaming at Linds not to
leave, to keep fighting, but it was too late there was nothing left to fight
for.
Adam felt the tremors start through his sister’s body and he
held on all the tighter, he wanted to say something to comfort her, but no
words would come. It wasn’t safe for them to be up there not paying as close as
attention as they should. He was just about to pull away so that he could wake
up Matt when he heard the warning whistle. He replied in kind and a moment
later Kyle appeared.
“Is she all right?” the question was whispered quietly, Adam
just nodded. He thought about moving but knew his sister was in no shape for
that at the moment. He stayed where he was, softly stroking her hair as her
tears soaked his shirt.
After some time, Amy stopped shaking; when Adam raised his
head to see how she was doing he found that she had fallen asleep. Quietly,
doing his best not to disturb her, he picked her up in his arms. Motioning for
Kyle to cover him he slipped silently into the cave, then back into the cavern
where Matt slept on. He woke up briefly at the sound of Adam sliding down the
wall with his sister in his arms , but when he saw there was no danger he went
back to sleep.
Adam tucked the blankets around Amy’s shoulders never waking
up as she made herself comfortable with her head against his chest. He leaned
his head back against the smooth rock of the cave wall.
He’d told Amy that he’d never forget Lindsey, and it was
true. They’d been in love, he and Chase had made plans to go ring shopping the
next day, Adam was going to buy Linds an engagement ring, Chase wasn’t at that
point with Amy yet, but he had decided to buy her a promise ring. Adam let his
eyes drift close as he thought back to that time.
“Hey, Adam, we still
on for tomorrow?” Chase asked his friend as they donned their cap and gowns.
“Yeah of course,” they
both smiled, but cut off the conversation so they could join their classmates.
The ceremony had been
fantastic, they’d had a great time, and the party for their friends and family
afterwards had been wonderful. The two couples were so obviously in love no one
could stop staring at them. The rumors were already spreading, now that they had
graduated, when would the weddings be? Adam had to laugh whenever he heard the
snippets of conversations all around him, friends and family alike had
abandoned the word ‘if’ now, it was just ‘when’.
All four of them were
thrilled with the idea of one more party with their classmates before everyone
went off their separate directions, despite the tensions between Christians and
others their classmates were still their friends. The girls went to Lindsey’s to get ready
together and the boys went to Chase’s, then they met up back at the Collins’
house for pictures.
The party wasn’t
formal but both girls had opted to wear jean skirts, Lindsey had been wearing
brand new silver heels, she was so excited when she’d gotten them. She also
wore a black top that was threaded with silver, the silver diamond earrings her
parents had given her as a graduation present and the blue topaz necklace that
he’d bought for her on their three year anniversary. She’d piled her blond hair
up with just a few ringlets hanging down to frame her face. She’d been
stunning.
Amy had worn her favorite sapphire blue top to
match her eyes, Chase had bought her a sapphire necklace to match and she wore
the earrings that Lindsey had helped him pick out for her graduation present.
By the end of the night Amy’s skirt and top and been so covered in blood that
it was impossible to ever wear them again.
Adam pulled himself back from the memories; he didn’t want
to think about the pain from those months. His own would’ve been bad enough but
then when Chase left-
He stopped there, unwilling to go on. He looked down at his
sleeping sister, he was only a few minutes older but he’d always felt
responsible for her. He closed his eyes again, shaking his head as he blinked
back the tears. He wanted so badly to protect her, but it wasn’t easy, he’d let
her down three years ago and she still hadn’t recovered. How on earth could he
ever manage to make up for that?
‘Oh Lindsey, I wish
you were here, you could always get through to her. You and Chase, it was hard
enough losing you, but when she lost him too… she’s never been the same, Linds,
neither of us has.’
Unwilling to move and leave his sister’s side he snagged her jacket that she’d
carelessly tossed beside her and tucked the jacket behind his head, closing his
eyes to get some sleep before it was his turn for guard duty.
*
Amy stirred awake, realizing immediately that she must have
fallen asleep and Adam had tucked her in. Her head was on his lap but she saw
that his eyes were closed; Kyle was sleeping on the other side of the cavern,
which meant Matt must have been on duty. She sat up, leaning her back against
the wall and wondering what had woken her up. Looking around she saw nothing
out of place and was just considering going to check on Matt when Adam stirred.
“Amy?” he whispered.
“Hey bro, go back to sleep I’m just going to go check on
Matt, okay?” He turned to look at her, but the darkness hid his smile.
“No, you get some more sleep it’s probably about time for me
to take over anyway.” Ignoring her protest, he stood up and slipped quietly out
of the cave.
Amy lay back down and for a moment just stared up into the
darkness, she felt horrible about being angry at her brother earlier that day
but it was obvious he’d forgiven her.
‘Lord, why did you
have to take her from us?’ she wondered, as she did every night and as she
did whenever she asked the question she sent up a request. ‘Please, tell her we love her, and be with Chase… wherever he is.’
Rolling onto her side, her back against the wall, she blinked back the tears;
she’d learned a long time ago they didn’t solve anything.
